Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

But Now The Dreams and Waking Screams That Ever Last The Night

Last night I had yet another plane crashing dream. This time I was on one of the planes hijacked on September 11th. The hijacker couldn’t manage to fly the plane upright and he was flying upside down through the grass and everyone was yelling to not look down. But, of course, I looked down and my eyelashes grazed the grass. I swear I could feel this in my sleep. I’m like those damn kids in Nightmare on Elm Street. Afraid to go to bed for fear of what will happen while I’m sleeping. It’s bad enough this panic and anxiety grips me during my waking hours. But now there’s no rest. I can’t escape it while I sleep either.

For the first time I have all these little problems and none of them are family or dog related. Well, that’s a change for the better.

I’m wrestling with other things as well. Obviously. And I don’t know what else to say because I’m mulling it all over in my head. I have a lot going on and I’m not sure where to focus my energy. I just know that I have all these little problems and I seem incapable of solving any of them. Blogging hasn’t suffered from receiving my attention thus far, but I’m afraid that it might soon.

I’ve got that “I’m going to bed and putting the covers over my head for three weeks” feeling.


  1. AlieMalie

    No worries about the blog, Velvet. It’ll always be here ready and waiting to be written on about whatever you so choose.

    Good luck to you and BH. I look forward to reading whatever it is that you want to write about.


  2. Sandra Dee

    Maybe discuss what you’re feeling with BH before writing it in the blog. Then neither of you will feel weird. I dunno. Just my two cents.

    Might ask for help. He dated a girl that he met through his blog. He might be of help with this sort of situation.

    In the meantime, hang in there!! We’ll be here when ya get back in the swing of things. 🙂

  3. Asian Mistress

    I guess we all need to take a step back…

  4. Sarah Jayne

    Wow, Velvet – we seem to be facing similar situations at the same time. First Blogging & Dating (you read my take on it)… and that feeling of wanting to do MIA for a while – right with you on that one.

    As for friends not talking – it’s a shame, but here’s my take: everyone is different and everyone (especially friends) may approach thoughts/situations very differentely – their rationalities may be at polar extremes. But what they must remember is that its a friendship – we will never understand someone else 100% completely – and so we must accept those limitations.

    Both friends may be feeling hurt – and that feeling may overwhelm and/or trump anything else right now – it takes a lot of inner strength to put those feelings of hurt/pain aside and sit down face to face. I guess you have to ask yourself? Is this the type of relationship (or lack of) that I want to keep with this person? If the answer is No, then sit down – talk – this is only a blip on the radar of life.

    As for friend #1 and #2, I hope you’re reading 🙂

  5. ListenToLeon

    Sorry to hear about youor friends and all the other stuff that you’re going through. Hopefully, the’ll get together and try to talk this thing out or something…Then again, I can only think of a couple of times where I’ve actually seen people do this(other than myself since I used to be a conflict mediator back in school).

    Oh yeah, Sandra Dee is probably right. If it were me, I’d much rather have my lady talk to me about what’s bothering her first before putting in up on the internet for me to find out that way, regardless of what the situation is.

  6. DJ Flowerz

    You’ll be fine. Maybe you just need to take a few days off from blogging and everything else that’s bothering you, if possible. Try to take a deep breath and step back. Notice what you are thinking and feeling and try to respond rather than react to it, if that makes sense.
    I have a lot of plane crash dreams too. Either I see a plane crashing or I’m on a plane that is very close to crashing. I think it represents a fear of failure or dashed hopes. Unease with the fact that reality does not match our fantasies. At least you survived the crash.

  7. Washington Cube know where I stand on all of this so I’ll hang in the corner. I had a dream last night about my last pet…dead some time now, and he wanted to run with the wild things screaming in the night. He did let me hold him for a bit, though.

  8. I love Little D

    This unknown third party could have this much power to rend asunder a friendship? Maybe the friendship was not that strong to begin with?

  9. Marci

    Is there something in the air? (Is it the pollen?) Seriously everyone I know is going through something right now. So much upheaval and negativity going around. Bah.

  10. playfulindc

    Wow. I get it, finally. Bless your heart. I wish you could drive that awesome car to where I’ve been (mountain trips to VA and NC) to take a breather.

    The heart is a muscle, and you’ve been doing some serious Olympic training as of late. It only hurts when you use it, right?

    Your friends are smart ladies, and both extremely classy. I hope all of this will heal in time.

    As for BH, he says feelings are GAY, but Jesus, we know he can be sensitive (isn’t that true for all bloggers?). Sensitivity is a true gift in a man.

    Oh, and my Nick and I decided to have a rule with our blogs: Nothing can be said on the blog that wasn’t previously discussed. I swear it works.

  11. Barbara

    Your big heart and your desire for everyone to get along with each other comes screaming through in this post. I’m sorry about the 2 friends because I know who they are and know what terrific people they are. I’m pissed off at the 3rd person who caused all this and still want to know what really happened. As for Blogging about anyone who reads your Blog, I can tell you from personal experience that it’s probably not such a good idea unless you can check out every mention ahead of time. Your posts will never be the same if you have to censor them! If you have found real love, forget the Blog!

  12. Siryn

    I am with the consensus when it comes to BH.

    The other situation with the friends? Everything is so much easier said than done. A train wreck might be the only thing to change friend #2, which is unfortunate, but if a loving conversation won’t work, that is your only alternative. As for both of them, a little forgiveness might go a long way.

  13. Moni

    Oy Velvet. I completely know the feeling. This is when communication with Mr. BH becomes crucial. Even if in the end it all becomes friendship. You never meant to talk bad about him, and at least I never meant to comment bad about him. I know the other people who read your blog and care for you didn’t either. If in the end you are honest and true, things will develop in a positive road… no matter what direction it is on.

  14. Sweet

    Yeah I agree with Sandra Dee, maybe talk to him before you blog about it? And that dream is freaky! Blame it on that horrible 911 moving coming out soon.

  15. Kristin

    I’m glad I didn’t read this before the red eye back from Vegas.

    We should talk about the rest of it.

  16. Stef

    I agree with Marci – there’s something in the air. Seriously everyone I know is having a rough time right now. Do what you need to do, lady, and we’ll all be here for you when you need us.

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