Saturday night I went to two parties. There was a sexy little bastard at the second of the parties, and I was trying to figure out who to fish info from. He seemed exceptionally friendly. Me likey friendly. I sent a text to my BestGayFriend-M about it because I couldn’t manage to get him alone. The text said, “Who is this SexyBastard? Meow fucking meow.” So I watch him reach for his pocket and pull out his phone as he’s talking to the husband of the funniest married couple I’ve met, ever. I hear him say, “Oh, it’s from Velvet. Let’s see what she’s saying.” Mind you, I was sitting across the table at this point in time.
Face all shades of red, I scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” But it was most likely too late. I think husband saw most of it. At least SexyBastard’s name, and well, that’s really all you need. Anyway, BestGayFriend-M said, “Oh, there’s a story there. I’ll tell you about it.” Later on we’re in the car driving home and this happens:
BestGayFriend-M: I helped him find a place. We did all this looking around and finally we found a place but then I find out he filled out paperwork with another broker.
Velvet: Oh, ok. That’s all I need to know.
BestGayFriend-M: Why? It doesn’t have to be.
Velvet: Yes it does. You just told me at SarcasticGayMan’s party that I need to pay closer attention to warning signs and red flags.
BestGayFriend-M: Yeah, but he’s a nice guy.
Velvet: Yeah, he is. But anyone who would use a broker for 95% of the work, then go with someone else doesn’t have a good character in my book. That doesn’t bode very well to what kind of a person he is. I’m all about people with good character.
BestGayFriend-M: Well, I’m not sure you should not date someone because of that.
Velvet: Mmmm. It’s enough for me. Seriously. I couldn’t do that to someone, switch pitchers at the last minute.
BestGayFriend-M: It’s a good point. Okay. But if you change your mind, he and I are going to be doing some work together this week.
Velvet: No. I always say this: People tell you exactly who they are within five minutes of meeting them. You were right about the last thing and you’re right about this. I shouldn’t have broken my rule.
So many rules. But there is greater loneliness in being in the wrong relationship than none at all.