Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I’m Only Pretty Sure, That I Can’t Take Anymore

Drunk Post. May not make sense. But I swear this happened. Ask KK and Heather.

KassyK and I met at Dupont metro, south side, and walked to Citron for the Lover’s Happy Hour. We went downstairs an immediately walked to the bar to get ourselves a drink before facing the lovers. The downstairs? Fucking crowded. Kassy and I quickly finish our drinks, and I lost her, so I go to the bar to get another. I turn around and some dude bumps into me. Some of drink #2 spills. Stupid Citron. I hate this place. Anyway, I feel someone tug at my arm, I turn around and the bartender hands me another gin and tonic. She says something about the guy, and the drink, and I tell her it’s no big deal and that not a lot spilled, but she gives it to me anyway. I’m walking double fisted with the gin and tonics. Then my phone buzzes. Fucking great. I have to put one of the G&T’s down. Mentally taking note to watch no one slips the date rape drug in there.

It’s a text. Guess who?

Text from Sherlock: I’m out. Enjoy the drink and the rest of your evening.
Um. What? So I write back: Excuse me?
Sherlock texts: The gin and tonic was from me. Enjoy. Thought you saw. Regardless, I’m halfway home.
Me: Um. Why were you here?
Sherlock: I guess to buy you a drink. I did. I’m gone. Get over it.
Me: How did you know I was here?
Sherlock: Are you kidding? it was too easy. You answer some of my questions and I’ll answer all of yours.
Me: I think you should start talking. You came here for a reason…and you obviously knew I was here.

So then I went upstairs to the sidewalk and called him. I don’t know what I said but it wasn’t nice. I remember it wasn’t nice. I remember saying that something about what bullshit this is, and how he’s contrived this whole relationship. Then everyone downstairs kept calling so I hung up and went back downstairs. The place fills up, I mean, FILLS UP and the panic attack arrives on time. I start to get hot and can’t breathe, and I bail. I went upstairs, and outside. I call him, mostly because he ruined my night but also because I really am still shaking at the idea that somehow, he found out where I was going to be.

He tells me that he was sitting at the bar and saw me walk in. He watched Kassy and I order a drink, talk to Betty Joan, and make our way over to the middle of the bar. He was there while I finished my first drink. He watched me in the mirror behind the bar when I came up to order my 2nd drink. He told the bartender to get me a drink. Then he left.

I asked the bartender what happened after he was gone. She said, “I don’t know, this guy was sitting there, really pissed off, snapped at me, and then said it wasn’t my fault and that he was in a bad mood.”

What. The. Fuck.

On my walk home I called him. I told him that there’s no way we could ever work this out, and the best I can offer him is for us to take a break, a long break, and try to reconnect in a few months.

He agreed. He asked if there were ground rules. I said, there weren’t but if he fucked someone else, I was out of the game. He agreed to that too, and somehow I didn’t have to. Huh. Who knew?


  1. AussieEm

    The benefits of being 14 hours ahead… I can read drunk posts at a much more reasonable hour than when they are written. 🙂

    I only have one word to comment: SCARY!

    That story gave me the willies and I’m sitting here a world away. And, as I think has been mentioned many times before, stalking is not cool. Thats just creepy creepy creepy, Miss Velv. I vote for getting over your hangover and then getting over him!

  2. Scarlet

    Well, at least he didn’t try to corner you and talk to you at the bar. That would have been very uncool to catch you off guard like that. I’d have been a little freaked out anyway.

    So is this break…a good thing? (I know how the readers feel;)

  3. Ashburnite

    ok, Sherlock is getting WAY too creepy! He was sitting at the bar, pissed off?? And sent you a drink and left? Then texted you to let you know it was from him? This is getting WAY too “Fatal Attraction,” only he’s Glenn Close.

  4. playfulinnc

    EEuu. Not very classy of him, to be rude to the help.

    Ack. Take a big break and do what you want! Don’t let him break in and boil S and T!

    (Someone is googling s and t and finding my blog btw!)

  5. Law-Rah

    Velv, I think he has taken this a step too far. I am sorry, but he is just not worth any of this. No matter how good the sex, or how loving the words, this is just too much. I think you need to walk away. For real. Not just for your sanity, but perhaps for your safety too. He’s taking it beyond creepy.

  6. I-66

    Not going to pile on here, though I have the strongest inclination to.

    To be honest, I was going to up until Ashy wrote that he’s Glenn Close and I choked on my beverage (that I assure you has no alcohol in it).

  7. Jill

    He is going to far now and it’s creepin’ me out. I can only imagine how it makes you feel. I really have nothing more to add but be strong and we will be here for you!

  8. freckledk

    I’m horrified. I’m offended. That post made my skin crawl and the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

    I no longer want for you to do whatever makes you happy. I want for you to completely remove him from your life. Dunzo. No more. Remember Gift of Fear, Velvet? Isn’t your gut screaming out to you that something is wrong here? He violates your trust, he violates your privacy, he violates your need for space. What’s next?

    This guy is scaring the bejeebus out of me, and I’m not the one who has to walk down the street in fear that he could be lurking somewhere in my path.

  9. KassyK

    Oh V–Besides getting rip roaring drunk with you and having a blast–seriously not only did that situation scare me for you…it scared me for me. He is a little freaky deaky. I want you to be safe…and happy. Man, I crapped myself when you showed me that text. INSANITY.

  10. Siryn

    First thing: he is right, it was too easy. He is now in the blogging community. So yes, he would know where you are.

    But here he goes again with THE SAME BEHAVIOR that freaked you two months ago. He won’t frickin’ let up and give you the space you need. There’s that RESPECT thing again. Deja vu…

    As for him not screwing anyone else: hah! Well, you can kiss this relationship goodbye. He doesn’t have that level of self-control.

    I am almost willing to bet you a box of munchkins that you’ll be revisiting this conversation again within 3 days, because he won’t leave you alone.

  11. marie

    Argh! I was at Citron last night.. yeah, way too crowded.. Even though I recognized a couple of people [and even talked to one of them for, ummm, two minutes], I had no idea there was a blogger happy hour going on so I didn’t approach the group..
    Anyway, back to the story (I’ll tell you about Citron via email)..

    Um, yeah.. kinda creepy..
    The whole being-there-watching-you-without-approaching-you thing is kinda stalker-ish (but those are his tendencies – remember the very beginning of the relationship?)
    But hey, that was a very good deal you made with him.. now you can have some time off and figure out what you want while going out with other people if you so desire to..

  12. Velvet

    Ok. Now, from the perspective of a hangover, staring down 44 ounces of Crystal Light I have sitting here on my desk.

    At least I know how to fill out a restraining order. And this time I won’t end up in the wrong court on a technicality.

    I’ve asked him to not call, not text, not contact me in any way until he hears from me. We’ll see. When I first met him, shortly thereafter I suppose but during that first week, I said something to him along the lines of, “I’m never going to be able to get away from you.”

    I’m afraid I might have been right.

  13. Red

    This is gettin all too crazy.
    At least he left.
    They need to create a way to block phone calls on cell phones and give the caller the message that they are blocked

  14. la whisky

    Wow. I’m just so very very sorry this is happening to you. Feel free to hit me up for drinks on my side of town if you need it.

  15. Washington Cube

    Where do you meet these nut jobs? For God’s sake, stay away from him FOREVER. There is no need for you to ever speak to him again. Please forget that “few months” nonsense. Surely you are reading the alarm signals loud and clear. I hope you are. This calls for amputation.

  16. homeimprovementninja

    See this is the difference between men & women. Well, that and the whole penis/vagina thing.

    There’s plenty of women that would “accidentally” run into a guy in some bar, but it’s not okay when a guy does it. Plus, it’s only scary because he was angry. If he was sitting in the corner crying into his beer y’all would be like “wow…I feel so bad for him. Crying is like totally gay, so I’m not attracted to him, but I feel bad for him nonetheless…and why isn’t ninja here tonight? I tooootally wanted to hook him tonight…and bring in my hot sorority sister for a thresome.” Sorry, where was I?

    Anyway, I’m not opining on the stalker allegations, but this seems to me that it’s like when they first met and she told him to leave her alone but he kept emailing/commenting because he wanted to get his side out there. I think he thinks travelgirl is somehow sabotaging him and he thinks if he can just tell his side of it that everything will be okay. I am guessing here, but I think he thinks that showing up/calling/texting is the solution, not the problem.

  17. Laura, HotBox Neighbor

    Hey, I’ve missed this! Keep on writing! I love reading it.

  18. Law-Rah

    Ninja, I love you but you are full of shit. Perhaps I am just a different kinda woman, but if a guy tells me to leave him alone, I am NOT going to figure out where he will be that night, sit across the bar and watch him, send him a drink, then leave and let him know I sent him the drink. Fuck that shit. That is psycho.

  19. homeimprovementninja

    Law Rah, I’m just saying that before, when everyone was saying stuff about him being a stalker for reading the blog, he kept commenting on the allegations even though she told him to go away because he probably didn’t want to let the commenters go unanswered. He HAD to have his say. I’m not saying he had to get the last word, but I’m guessing he thinks it’s all a misunderstanding and if he got the chance to explain himself, V would see that Travelgirl is crazy and he’s a good guy again.

    But V already knows that travelgirl is crazy, but that doesn’t mean she is ready to forgive him.

    Anyway, my thought is that Sherlock is clueless and when travelgirl offerred to help by offerring him dating advice, instead of him realizing that someone who is sleeping with him isn’t the best person to get advice from he told her about what was going on and she’s been gathering everything he told her (and as much info as she can gather from trying to befriend other bloggers that V knows) and was hoping to use it to cause problems. I don’t think she knows that even if Sherlock breaks up with V, he won’t go back and date travelgirl. She was still calling/emailing him recently so I’m thinking she thinks she’s still got a chance.

  20. Jill

    Don’t know you ninja but I can see your reasoning. It is something to ponder.

  21. Dan

    MY question is was Sherlock crazy before he met Velvet, or is unrequited Velvet love more mentally debilitating than a zombie virus, turning men into one-track, shambling, ruined shell of their former humanity.

    “Veeeeelllllveeeeettt…. Velllveeeetttttt”

    Gin and tonic is my fav drink too.

  22. CrazyGirl

    Ummm that is kind of creepy that he was there!

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