Sherlock emailed me yesterday and said “Are you ready to have an adult conversation this week?” Hmm. Upstairs Neighbor encouraged me to respond with, “That would mean that you are an adult.” HA! I love it. But I ain’t doing it. I don’t want to engage. Sherlock also called last night. I watched it ring, watched his name flash, then sent him to voicemail. He left a message asking if I have cooled off yet and want to talk.
Um. No. Not yet.
I saw the therapist today. I told her there was another setback, and she was like, groan groan. So I explain the whole story. She said that she can definitely see how I am feeling like he doesn’t respect me to go telling the exes stuff about our freaking sex life. So that’s good, she agrees. But then she goes back to this: “If it weren’t for this blog, you wouldn’t know any of this because these girls never would have factored in. And plenty of men lie about plenty of things. So, I’m not sure that this is the right move to just end it. But it seems as though the last time we had this discussion, you were seeking my permission in some way to go back to him, and this time, I’m not hearing that from you.”
She’s right about that. I wanted her approval. She seems to know me very well. This lady is goooooood. She thinks, and has said several times before, that this blog is just driving a lot of the destruction. I’m not sure I agree with that. This is usually isn’t a forward-thinking vehicle. I’m not laying it out and asking for commenters to give me a course of action. I’m more so reporting in on things that have already happened. I don’t know. Maybe she’s right.
What I’m left with is what to do about this. I really wish it would go away. I really wish someone else would just handle it for me. I really wish Sammy and Thora could go over there and pick up their own toys, bowls and food. But, I got nothing. The best I can come up with is that I must masturbate before I go over there. Then there’s no danger in ending up in bed.
In other news, there’s a portal to the outside in my office. There is a wasps nest out there, so every morning a wasp or two gets in and I have to kill them. I kill the morning wasps, then the afternoon shift arrives, and I have to kill them too. Now, I don’t know what’s going on but there are literally 100’s of lady bugs in my office. And instead of calling property management, I’m sitting here playing with them. One just got stuck under my laptop and I freed her and sent her on her way. I gave another some of my salad. I’m wondering what they could be eating. I think I’m losing my mind. Maybe I should be on meds. And that’s all I got.