I was walking by a fancy store today, skidded to a halt and turned to feast my eyes on this:
It’s pink. It’s retro. It’s all things I love, and what tricycles should have been when I was bopping around. I bought it, shoved it in Speedracer, and whisked it away from the store so I could send it off to my beloved little niece. You may remember her as the “cutest baby in the world.” Well, she seriously is out of hand adorable. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my niece. See for yourself.
Clearly my brother got to her first instead of my more responsible and not nearly as sweet toothed sister-in-law. Sigh. That pint of ice cream is not for teething babies! It’s for PMSing Aunties. Send it my way bitches, I’m sending you this tricycle in exchange. God, that kid. She is so cute I can’t stand it.
In other cuteness news, Sammy and Thora are out of control with the UPS lady in my neighborhood. She gives them treats that she keeps in the truck. I get notes and calls from my dog walker that they saw the UPS truck and jumped inside. If Thora sees a UPS truck anywhere now, she bolts. I’m back to putting her on a leash because she is totally out of control. She saw the UPS lady driving down the street, and she walked out in the middle of the road with her little bow legs and stopped her in her tracks. The UPS lady had to open the door and let Thora in the truck with her because Thora would not move out of the road. My dog has become a stalker. And no, it’s not just her.
Yesterday Sammy craned his neck from the balcony and saw the UPS lady a FULL BLOCK AWAY delivering a package. She jumped out of the truck and Sammy started shrieking and barking.
I would like to hire them out for the holidays. Everyone could use a warning when UPS is coming, right? Well, I’ve got Sammy and Thora, ready to patrol for UPS, coming to a neighborhood near you. Their price is 3 milkbones an hour.