Last night, some asshole from Maryland (yes, MARYLAND, you are the WORST drivers Ive ever had to share the road with,) sideswiped poor Speedracer and drove off. Of course. Of fucking course. I called our useless police department, and here we go with another installment in my sometimes revered though much despised by crazy right-wingers who threaten my life series, D.C. Cops Suck Ass.
6:09 p.m.
Operator: Hello, 311?
Velvet: Someone just hit my car and drove off.
Operator: Do you need an ambulance?
Velvet: No.
Operator: Let me get your name and information and Ill have the next officer dispatched out to your location.
I gave the information and asked if they can just come to my house as it is right around the corner. They said no, because it was in another district. So I parked and waited.
6:20 p.m.
Operator: Hello, 311?
Velvet: I just called in a hit and run and wanted to see if the cop has been dispatched.
Operator: He has. Where are you?
Velvet: In front of the CVS with my hazards on.
Operator: Okay, thats what we told them, youre in a Speedracer?
Velvet: Yes.
Operator: Hes on his way.
6:33 p.m.
Operator: Hello, 311?
Velvet: I was told an officer was on his way to my location for a hit and run, but I havent seen him yet. I wanted to make sure he didn’t miss me.
Operator: No, hes still in route.
Velvet: Thanks.
6:45 p.m.
Operator: Hello, 311?
Velvet: I’m waiting for an officer to come out for a hit and run.
Operator: He was there and he said you werent there so he left.
Velvet: Ive been exactly where you told me to stay.
Operator: Did you see a cop come by?
Velvet: Not one.
Operator: Well he left. You can walk in to the station if you want and file a report.
Velvet: Wheres that?
Operator: 3320 Idaho Avenue.
Velvet: Fine.
I head home, have my condo board meeting, go to the gym at 9:00 and run for 45 minutes to burn off my steam before facing the po-po. I drive up to the station at 10:15 last night. On walking in and going up to the desk, an officer turns around, sees me, I say hi, he turns back around and continues pecking away on the computer. I wait about 10 minutes, before flipping my lid, because in addition to watching him on his computer, I can hear a very Law & Order script-worthy conversation going on in the back, discussing the merits of orange soda over grape, and how long they have to be in the refrigerator before they are cold.
I scream, HELLO???
Some officer waddles out and I explain my story. She says, Why didn’t you stay at the scene? I said, I did, and he never showed up, so they told me to come here and file the complaint. She said, Well I can take a damage to property, but thats about all. Theres nothing we can do. I said, So, a guy hits me, I get his plate, he drives off, and theres nothing you can do? She said, Yes. Thats right.
Of course not. I leaned over and saw there was a stack of complaint forms, where you can file an incident report against an officer. These will come in handy at some point I’m sure. I grabbed half the stack and walked out. I couldnt hate these useless D.C. cops anymore if they anally raped my dog.
I go back outside and call 311, telling them of their obvious blunder, and tell them to send an officer now. She agrees (after checking with her supervisor) and I return to the scene of the crime. The officer arrives, and tells me that he waited right here at this spot for an hour. I said, Um, no I was here and didn’t see you. You could tell he was pulling the tude, and saying there was also another officer waiting as well, back a few cars. Yeah, and I was there from 6:10 until 6:45 and there was NOT ONE COP there. So, writes my info down. I give him the plate number of the asshole who hit me and he said, wait, are you ready for it?
Yeah, I cant do anything with that.
Velvet: But, I got his plate, you cant run it and find out who he is?
Cop: No.
He gets in his car to do whatever he had to do, and then his friends pull up alongside him and they proceed to chat for 10 minutes while I’m waiting there. Arrgh!!!!! He gives me some report number and tells me to tell my insurance to take care of it. Yeah, great, so that they can raise my rates even though it is the other guy’s fault? Sure. Ninja called while I was sitting there and I told him what happened, and he said, You cant make this stuff up. How come on Law and Order they can run a plate, but here in D.C. they cant?
Exactly. Because here in D.C., our police department is a bunch of lazy, useless, inept, couldnt-find-a-criminal if they were sitting next to them, system abusing, power hungry, donut eating, newspaper reading, coffee drinking, double parking, traffic blocking, gossiping, overnight shift sleeping, disability for work related stress filing, money drain on our taxes.
assholes.
About 20 years ago, my resident manager was drunk and someone set off the fire alarm. It was the 2nd one that night and there was no fire. When the 2nd one went off, I went to talk to him and he accused me of setting off the alarm. He pulled out a gun and threatend to shoot me with it. I walked away, went to my unit and call The Police. To make a long story short. They never showed up.
“if they anally raped my dog” – that made me wince in pain..
and wait, what the hell were they doing that they didn’t see you reach over the counter and grab a bunch of papers??
Velvet that’s unbelievable… but not at all hard to believe. Isnt that the purpose of having license plates.. so neglient drivers can be tracked if necessary! Ugh!!!! Soooo frustrating to know in DC it doesnt even matter if you’re a responsible driver or not. Seems to be no consequences..Does some one have to die first in an acciddent. Well once again..you managed to make a bad situation sound comical.
You have to be kidding me. You know what works on these cops? Crying. Seriously. Didn’t you know this is 1955 and not 2006?
OMG wow, I can’t even handle the ineptitude of cops ESP DC ones!
You really should file a complaint.
I stopped by the Dupont station once and asked what could be done to stop all the cars making those illegal turns into the circle and nearly running over pedestrians..
They literally told me I’d have to wait for somebody to get hit before they’d dispatch an officer to look into it.
It’s amazing. Plus, why can’t we have patrols on foot!? DCPD is sorely lacking.
I think* though am not sure, that your insurance company can find out the driver information
Alie Malie – You said it.
Carl – Not shocking. Not shocking at all. But I bet if you called in a 2 for 1 donut sale at DD or KrispyKreme, they’d be there in a heartbeat.
Marie – The papers were sitting right there on the counter. When I wrote “leaned” I meant, to the right.
Kenny – It wasn’t funny if you had seen me yesterday. I was ready to kill.
KK – I doubt even crying would work. I was assaulted once and someone took off in our building and I called 911 THREE TIMES and they yelled at me to “calm down.”
*A* – It’s pretty bad here.
Andrew – I doubt they will do anything. I’ve tried this before and they couldn’t even identify the officer I was talking about. They are totally incapable of protecting the public, and they’ve rendered us useless with our hands tied behind our backs to protect ourselves. We can’t buy guns. They won’t respond to calls. They don’t take evidence and actually do anything with it once you hand it to them. It’s such a ridiculous joke of a system, it’s infuriating.
Vince – And I bet they said that to you with a straight face, like you are the one who is nuts, right?
Anon – They can possibly do that, however, once you report an accident to your insurance company, they deem you a “higher risk” and your rates go up anyway. It’s a lose-lose situation.
I think you should learn some kickboxing. Then take some jiu jitsu and learn some choke holds. Then find an old chinese guy who can teach you the secrets of Dim Mak (the death touch). Then, when this happens again, wait till the guy gets out his car, then hit him in the face with a brick. If the cops question you, you can say “I know kickboxing. jiu jitsu that includes some choke holds, and the secrets of Dim Mak (the death touch), why would I hit him in face with a brick? You got the wrong girl.”
Velvet,
If you saw the accident, you can get a police report and swear out a criminal complaint against the driver for damage to property and leaving the scene of an accident.
DC Code § 50-2201.05 — “(a) (1) Any person operating a vehicle, . . . who shall do substantial damage to property therewith and fail to stop and give assistance, together with his name, place of residence, including street and number, and the name and address of the owner of the vehicle so operated, . . . to the owner of such property so damaged, or to the operator of such other vehicle, or to any bystander who shall request such information . . , if such owner or operator is not present, then he shall report the information above required to a police station or to any police officer within the District immediately.”
“(3) Any operator whose vehicle causes substantial damage to any other vehicle or property and fails to conform to the above requirements, shall, upon conviction of the 1st offense, be fined not more than $ 100, or be imprisoned not more than 30 days, or both; and for the 2nd or any subsequent offense, be fined not more than $ 300, or be imprisoned not more than 90 days, or both.”
The D.C. Attorney General’s office handles prosecutions for hit-and-run accidents, so you probably ought to contact them after making sure the police have your report.
Lookout! The Great Gatsby’s on the case! Hoorah!
Maryland drivers are known for sideswiping, apparently:
http://arjewtino.blogspot.com/2006/11/anyone-see-drunk-driver-last-night-he.html
AAAAARGH! I hate DC “authority” figures. I complained about a taxi driver who was violently abusive towards and nothing was ever done either.
Pisses. Me. Off.
After a year and a half living in Dupont, I finally saw DC cops outside of their cars, on foot and away from 7-11 last night. What were they doing? They were harassing some girl in my building who lost her wallet and asked her cabbie if she could go inside and get money for him. The cabbie didn’t trust her, followed her inside my building and threw the double glass doors in her face on the way in. Of course, the cops bothered the sobbing girl, not the POS cabbie. Assholes.
Um you forgot “smoking while on duty” in that list of insults, because YES YES YES On many many occasions over the past 3 years I have seen DC cops on duty with lit cigarettes hanging out their mouths. YES I HAVE. EWWWWWW. nice role model!
Ninja – Um. What?
Jay Gatsby – Saw it? I was in it! But, you know that the cops don’t care, right? This would be a loooooong fight with very little reward.
Kbee – hi!
Arjewtino – I hate them all. Do they not teach them in Maryland that the LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING???? NOT FOR RIDING 23 MILES AN HOUR IN?
E:) – Come back! come back!!
KM – Of course. One of these days they will give me a ticket for walking the S & T dogs off leash, and I’ll probably end up being carried away in cuffs because I will go off on them.
Edina – I’ve not seen this, but I believe you. Yes I do… They are big old assholes. DC COPS DO YOU HEAR ME?? YOU ARE BIG ASSHOLES!!
There. I feel better. Okay, not really.
In-f’in-furiating. I tried to explain to someone once how it doesn’t help to call the cops, and they thought I was exaggerating. That is unless some crazed woman who came to your door asking for money for “pampers” and ended up kicking your dog files a complaint. Then you will have 2 of D.C.’s “finest” show up on your porch at 9:30pm. (YES! pm) to tell you that the crazed woman said that your dog bit her. Oh, and this is like 7-10 days after she originally darkened your door. Please expect sexist language to come out of the police mouths. Sadly for crazed woman, there was no relief for her, either.
Oh yeah, those D.C. cops… bloody terrible. Stupid arseholes. The last time I was in D.C. they…
Oh wait, that’s right, I’ve never been to D.C. before so what would I know?
I can’t really comment on this one, but, to keep a certain person (who shall remain nameless) happy, I am commenting anyways.
*pointed look at Miss Velv* Happy now? 😛
1.They won’t do anything because they think you are a liar.
2.They think you are a liar because most of the people they deal with on a day-to-day basis are liars.
3.Corroborative evidence would help you here. Were there any security cameras around when you got hit?
4.Failing this, I’m sure there is some way to use Senator Stevens’ series-of-tubes to track down that plate.
5.If you are successful in #4, please do not tell us about it in any way, shape or form. “Velvet in Lorton” just doesn’t have the same charm…
There’s a reason people say to cop an attitude…
It ain’t just DC. Bad cops are everywhere. I’d like to say it is a few “bad apples” spoiling the bunch, but at this point I can’t tell if there are any “good apples” out there. Too many cops just don’t give a shit.
My only experience with DC cops was really bad, too. What is the freaking deal?
I got trapped in the middle of an intersection one night, probably 10 years ago – I had a green light, pulled out, and a lost tourist-type in a minivan whipped out on the red in front of me and then sat in the intersection, trying to figure out where the heck he needed to go. I’m honking, trying to get through, but nada. Finally, he moves and the next thing I know, I’ve been pulled over for going through a red light. I explain to the cop what happened, and he says he didn’t see the touristmobile because “I was doing paperwork at that point.” Nice. A second police car shows up and this angry-looking female officer comes over to my window and shines a flashlight into my face. Mind you, I’m a doughy fat woman in a Ford Escort. Not exactly threatening. Out of curiosity, I asked, “Excuse me – is it standard procedure for two cars to respond to a red light violation?” Angry chick screams at me – and I mean screams – “DON’T YOU WATCH ‘COPS’?” When I said, “Well, yes.” She screams again, “THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW!”
And that is what has informed my opinion of DC’s finest. My ticket was dismissed when the officer didn’t show at the hearing. The hearing itself is blogworthy, but might open a can of worms I don’t want to entertain or revisit…
Sorry to hear about your experience, but sadly not surprised…
Merujo: I’m sorry to hear that you got yelled at. No one should be screamed at by a public-servant. We’re their bosses.
A mental image popped into my head when I read about your “two cars” question. It was a memory of going to a police precinct to pick my car, which had been stolen. My interactions with the DCPD were neither here nor there, but I do remember walking past their “Wall of Honor” and seeing all of the photos there.
These people have to walk past those photos every day. Maybe it takes a toll on them, little by little.
DCPD’s problems start with an incompetent police chief (Ramsey) and it just trickles down to the officers. I mean listen to him on WTOP, completely worthless answers to legitmate complaints and questions from concerned citizens. I heard him remark the other day that “DC can never really be safe.” DC’s finest.
DocThink – OMG! Some lady needed diapers and she came to you? That’s nuts.
AussieEm – I was JUST SAYIN that you were more than happy to comment 1, 2 or 114 times on a post when the password was on. But now? A little shy with the public? It’s okay, they’re nice.
LPM – Sadly, I don’t have time to waste to call the cops just to lie to them. And no, there were no security cameras. Velvet in Lorton? Eek!
Lord Chimmy – Cop an attitude! HA! Never thought of that.
Merujo – Is that not the most infuriating thing ever? They are just so unbelievably bad, I am in shock. And they make SO MUCH MONEY!
Big Tone – It’s true. You can only be as good as your leader. That “crime emergency” of the summer was a joke. Yes, deprive the bastards of their vacations and make them work 6 days a week, that will make them more effective, for sure. Sarcasm sarcasm.
A few months ago, I was crossing where Florida NE and New York NE intersection, and a woman nearly ran me over making a right turn and almost hit me. Had one of the crackheads loitering around not yelled “watch it!” I wouldn’t be here today.
I called the police and gave them her car description (I also described the driver to a tee) and license plate, and the cop told me the only way they could’ve done something is if I actually was HIT by the car. Great.
Damn, I’m slow…she was making a LEFT turn and it’s “intersected,” not “intersection.” Work kills my brain cells.
I’m sure you can find SOMEONE somewhere to run that plate number. For God’s sake, put it on your Blog and leave a finder’s fee! There are tons of data bases out there that could probably identify the asshole who ran away. And it doesn’t sound like something he could get out of by saying he didn’t realize he had hit your car! There must be a way to do this legally, though…
Barbara raises a good point. Have you reported this to your insurance company as a hit-and-run? The insurance company can track down the plate and launch a case against the other driver after paying to repair your car. Your insurance company may need a sworn statement from you in order to pursue a case, but that’s a small price to pay. Bottom line: Let your insurance company handle things, and don’t waste your time with DC cops after filing a police report.
OMG….DC Police sucks!! The other night someone was lurking strangely around my house. I call 311 and the cops come…they didn’t even check the guy out. And I live Ledriot park where there were 6 sexual assults reported two weeks ago. So instead of questioning the dude, they just told me to “go in my house” OMG—so that the dude could watch me go into my house and wait for me to come out. And not to mention the fact that no one ever freaking calls you back when you are trying to get something taken care of. Yes they suck!!
P.S. If you know a good PI or someone who has access to “snooping”. You can definately get the creeps tags ran.
you should call a local news channel. if you have some “problem solvers” or “action alert team” or something like that. they love police ineptitude. cuz that rallies the troops for a while.
There’s a website for ANYTHING. You can report crap-ass drivers on this site in DC:
http://www.platewire.com/
Back when I lived off East Cap and 3rd, a cop decided he didn’t want to wait for the light to change so he blew through a red (without turning his lights on – it was pre-9/11) and hit a minivan, and then hit the cars parked on the side of the street where I was parked. My bumper was damaged. No note was left. Neighbors informed me of the incident and when I called DCPD to try and figure out how I was going to get my bumper fixed, they told me to work it through my insurance company. Maybe they have a deal going with Geico or something. Fucktacular.
whisky: That site is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.
I have an irrational urge to visit all fifty states, drive like a screwtard and be referenced, in each state, on that site.
Wow… I… I have a purpose in life now…
I am in DC too. One night there was a brawl across the street from my condo, 2 amish..I call the popo..waited 20 minutes, called again,told them I had just called, asked where the popo were and was asked “You called?”…and then “we have no record of that….what’s the problem?”…on I go again…meanwhile glass is breaking..fists are pounding..there is yelling..I open the window for effect and to stress some urgency..any moment I am sure I will hear gunshot…I was told a car was on the way..waited 20 more minutes, the brawl disbanded….still no popo..I called popo back and told them to never mind, brawl was over and was asked..”you called”…no lie!I have a couple more just like that..recently when something else warranted a popo call, boyfriend and I just decided it would do no good anyway, why bother…sad. I really thought we were the only ones experiencing this stuff…scary…
I had blocked this nightmare, but I had to come back and tell…I few years ago I dated a cop (pre DC)…over time I became afraid..it started with him driving 80 in 35 mph zones, running red lights in the patrol car and his own was a habit,,”no worries we all know each other, nothing would happen if I get pulled over..”..he carried his badge and gun EVERYWHERE for that very reason..he could do what he wanted…smug, arrogant…..he was also impatient..it was nothing for him to turn his siren on for no reason just to get through traffic…. He told me once about an obvious drunk driver that he passed on pulling over because it he was close to getting off duty and the report would have kept him a couple of hours…he did that all the time..he always bitched about menial paperwork, and the time invested for what he perceived as trival chit…certain times of the day, just getting on duty…dinner time…getting off duty..forget it they dont wanna be bothered..He and his friends partied harder and drove drunker than any bunch of people I ever knew…he told me the times and places people were most likely to get a ticket, get pulled over, maybe get a can o’ whip ass…if they worked on a say holiday, maybe a Superbowl Sunday….watch your back because they are pissed, feeling hung over maybe, someone had to pay..the final straw was when I heard him on the phone talking to a fellow cop, getting their “story” straight for court the next day regarding the shooting of a bar patron after hours by one of his buddies..this was his second such incident in a manner of years and without the support of his buddies he was looking at losing his job…he told me no matter what that the dude deserved if because he had a big mouth..they had to stick together..The Sopranos had nothing on this crowd…It’s the only time in my life I acted crazier than normal 🙂 in order to break up with someone and have them believe it was their idea…my guess is that the idiots in DC just dont want to be bothered with certain calls….some people are terrified of clowns, snakes, the dark, I am terrified of the popo..and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.
I grew up with some of the DC cops, in fact one of the retards who is still in the force, we used to call him “Elliot The Idiot”.
Enough said!
CNN.com has a video that talks about a site called platewire.com where people list the plates of dangerous drivers.
And…… someone already posted that site… and I replied to it. Sorry.
Dee – But, what could happen is that that lady could go on to the next intersection and hit someone, and had the cops stopped her and giving her a warning or a ticket, she may have been more cautious. Infuriating, isn’t it?
Barbara – Unfortunately I don’t have “those” kind of friends. I try to stay away from people in law enforcement. I suppose I could post the plate on my blog, but from the looks of the guy and his car, I doubt he has insurance.
Jay Gatsby – No, because they will raise my rates. It’s probably a couple hundred dollars of damage. I’m better off fixing it myself (or not) and not involving them.
Black Sage – The next time I would actually tell you to call 911. Not that the 911 operators care much either, but, 311 is totally a bunch of flunkie 8th grade dropouts.
Chud – HA! That would be hilarious. Though, they have a lot of bad press anyway here. There’s always some story about them and just how completely inefficient they are.
LaWhisky – I’m goint to check that site out. And I’m guessing that nothing happened with the bumper. God they suck. I can feel the rage deep inside me welling to the point where I’m going to go down to 7-11 and spit on the donuts one by one.
LPM – You are hilarious. And it’s the holidays. You won’t have to drive like a screwtard, there are enough idiots out there acting like lunatics.
Elizabeth – Sounds about right. I’ve heard that from several people that you will call over and over and they have no record of it. And, OHMYGOD you dated a cop too??? We should form a support group. It’s not one of my better memories, but everything you say just brought them all rushing back. Walking around NYC with him having his gun in the back of his pants…jesus. I forgot about that.
Mad Cabbie – It seems that all the retards end up in the police force, doesn’t it? No one aspires to it, they just sort of end up there because they can’t do anything else. We give the people with the lowest mental stability guns and nightsticks and put our lives in their hands.
LPM – HA! No problem! I love some ambitious cop-hate, so don’t worry about it!
Velvet,
Not to doubt you, but have you called your insurance company (without identifying yourself) and asked the hypothetical question? I’ve done that a few times without any problem. When someone hit my car and fled, I reported the claim to my insurance company along with details on the offending driver. Repairs were done at no charge, and my rated didn’t change. I eventually found out that the insurance company traced the offending driver, found out he had no insurance, etc… but that still had no effect on my rates.
At the end of the day, if it’s only a few hundred bucks damage, you’re probably better off paying for the damage yourself and not wasting your precious time — which we all know is worth more than that!
You might want to check this site out:
http://platewire.com/
Wow, wow, wow. You just have some unbelievable stories V! I’m sorry. It does tickle the shit out of me that they did that to someone who ALREADY had a blog about their asses. LOL!
FYI, it is illegal for the officers to provide you or anyone in the public with NCIC and NLETS information (Drivers permit info and arrest info). The report should be sent to the Hit and Run Section for investigation. The assigned investigators will then work with the insurance company as well as pursue a criminal investigation. The incompetence and lack of professionalism is a real problem in government overall. Police officers unfortunately are very easily recognizable and in the public eye which is something the officers and supervisors need to realize. MPD has come along way with their image but still a lot of improvement is still needed.
And this is why I keep my shitty Maryland driver self IN Maryland! :o) Although I tried to get to VA last weekend and the beltway was, shockingly, backed up with a bevy of hideous accidents (yes, all in Maryland). So I go the other way, try to cut through D.C. and get to my destination 45 minutes late. I was so stressed from driving in D.C. that I vowed never, ever, ever, to do that again. Hello Metro! Goodbye Rhode Island Ave. or Mass. Ave. or whatever the hell Ave I was supposed to take off the traffic circle to get to some other street, to get to M street to get to I66. On a Saturday. Before Christmas. Yes, Virginia, I AM a dumbass!
Velvet:
take every blog post you’ve written about DC cops, take out the snarky commentary, and send it to:
*your congressman
*your senator
*the mayor of DC
*and I’m sure you can find some regulatory agenies as well.
DO IT.
*If all else fails, I’ll write you a press release for the media. Totally serious.
i agree totally with zenchick…but don’t stop there. Someone please start a website against the useless cops. Or if there is one, let me know about it please. I want to be a part of that movement. I live in Maryland…equally useless here, haha. Send me some links!
DC Police really sucks. The crime rate in DC is one of the highest in the country and they just make money with the speed cameras. I commute daily from VA to MD across DC and had about 4 “speeding” (10-12 mph above the limit) tickets in 3 years. If someone had hit my car that way, I had probably chased the asshole and shoot some 9mm rounds to the driver.