Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Duel To the Death

The two Michael Vick posts continue to generate comments. What this proves is that this is still such a serious and emotional issue that people can’t and won’t let go. Good. And they shouldn’t. I’m tired of the animals being forgotten about as this country moves on to the next newsworthy thing. May this Michael Vick news continue to trump Harry Potter, Lindsey Lohan’s imminent jail time and Posh and Becks moving to the states.

I don’t think you have to be an animal lover to acknowledge that what has gone on here is disgusting and that the perps need to be punished. I spent a mind numbing hour watching Nancy Grace discuss this topic Thursday night and of course someone compares this to the Kobe Bryant case. Good god people, can you be any stupider? A quick take at the facts:

1) Whatever happened in Bryant’s hotel room remains unknown. Did a crime occur there? Was the girl raped or was she just a starfucker? Who knows. Who cares really. You go up to a guy’s hotel room you dumb cunt, and you’re asking for it. Women’s rights advocates be damned.

2) Did a crime occur at the house of Michael Vick. Absofuckinglutely. There is NO QUESTION that a crime occurred. The question becomes, who is responsible and how will they be punished?

While I hate Nancy Grace for her dramatics and still owe her a letter from the “Velvet reminds you that two ugly people should not reproduce so why the fuck are you knocked up” file, she made a good point. One of the guys indicted will no doubt turn on the rest and rat out. There is no honor among thieves.

Now, all that said, has anyone ever seen a dog fight? Not necessarily the ones that go on in the underground here in D.C. or Baltimore (yes, they do, get your head out of your ass) but just any dog fight anywhere? I have. I’ve been in the middle of one so bad I had blood all over me. But, I had to save my little Thora, who was attacked by a mixed breed aggressive dog with a spotty history. Fight details in a minute.

There is no such thing as a bad dog. Do you all get that? It is worth repeating. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD DOG. There are only bad owners. Write it down, make it your screensaver and tattoo it on your forehead. When a puppy is born, he has the same chance as any other dog to become aggressive or submissive, a good housepet or a good guard dog, depending on the environment. Dogs are products of their environment because that is all they know. Keep a dog separated from people and other animals and don’t socialize it? It will be shy or aggressive. Beat the dog, tie it up outside with no food or water? Food aggression. Train it to fight and it becomes a fighter. Take it into your home, love it, feed it and make it part of your family and it will be a great dog. Got it? But that defense only applies to dogs. Not people. So stop saying “Michael Vick is a product of his environment.” He has a brain, and he’s an adult, and he made these decisions his own damn self.

All right. So the fight. A few months back Thora is laying in the grass (but on a leash) at my friend’s apartment complex in Phoenix and a dog gets out of its leash and jumps on her. What happens next is a 10 minute, grueling dog fight that just won’t fucking stop. I got on top of the other dog and grabbed it from around the neck. Its owner is yelling (from 10 feet away mind you) to pull my dog by the leash to separate them. Bitch, your dog’s teeth are THROUGH THORA’s fucking forehead. How am I going to do that without hurting my dog? There really was no breaking this up – not without two people. Until my 9 month pregnant friend heard the commotion and came running out to help me, this fight was not going to end.

All of us covered in blood, my friend, Thora and I went back to her house to clean her up. Her ear was almost torn off, and she had cuts on her head and neck. She winced in pain for several days and we couldn’t get a collar around her neck. Dog fights can be vicious, and you can’t reason with a dog to stop fighting. They don’t understand that.

Sidenote for what I learned during all this: The proper way to treat dog bites both on humans and on dogs is surprisingly to not stitch them up. It is very important to let the infection drain.

The proper way to break up a dog fight requires two people. I was wrong to grab that other dog in a choke hold because it could have bitten me, but without the other owner helping me, and with Thora in peril, I just couldn’t think of anything but my baby. The real way to break a fight, if you see one, is for each person to grab the hind legs of one of the dogs and pulls them apart until they can no longer engage in the fight due to the lack of mobility. Turn the dogs 180 degrees in a semi circle away from the other dog so each is facing the opposite way. Leash them up or otherwise restrain them until you can get them completely separated.

To repeat that dogs are true reflections of their environments is an understatement. Thora was losing that fight and she wasn’t giving up. Thora also doesn’t start fights, but if she ends up in them, she goes for the count. Exactly like her mama.

Thora on right.

Back to Vick. To blame this on pit bulls being a “bad and aggressive” breed is just naive. These dogs are not aggressive by nature. No dog is. It is how they are treated which makes them aggressive. To make this an issue of race, also stupid. People! Stop crying the race card for christsakes. It’s getting fucking old already.

At the Washington Humane Society, you cannot adopt a pit bull. The Pits that are picked up off the street must wait 7 days for an owner to reclaim them, then are destroyed. This is an outrage. It isn’t just the the fact that Vick allegedly had this dogfighting ring, he was also a breeder! A fucking breeder! This man was forcing dogs to breed, not spaying or neutering them, and sending them to a life of violence. Apparently his “breeder’s card” was revoked. Whatever. Like anyone needs a license to breed dogs. Breeding dogs is irresponsible people, so fix your fucking pets and stop with this crap about “oh he’s so cute, let’s let him have babies.” Vick’s former website,, is now down. Yeah. Like he wasn’t up to something illegal…

An animal that has a miserable life and a torturous death is an animal who came in contact with the wrong human being. There are no bad dogs. Only bad owners.


  1. Not So Little Woman

    1000000000000000% (I know it’s mathematically not possible, but you get what I mean) in agreement.

    I have a super nicely balanced dog who was mistreated before I adopted him. I gave him love, food and shelter and he came out of his shell to show himself for who he truly was: Loving and faithful, not scared or shy.

    You might all want to go here

    And fill in the info to get his ass permanently suspended.

  2. Not So Little Woman

    How the hell do I put a link in the comments?

  3. circumlocutor

    You spent an hour watching Nancy Grace? I’ll write that off as you not feeling well. (Was she the cause or the result?) Otherwise, next time you’re too busy for me, I’ll understand where I am on your pecking order.

  4. Kerrin

    I’m a long time reader (I say reader because lurker sound so creepy), first time commenter. I agree with you 100% on this. We adopted a dog (black lab, something else mix) from a family a couple years ago that at first just seemed to still be a puppy – hyper, jumpy, food obsessed – at 2 years old. We were told that “allergies” were the reason they couldn’t keep him. Within 2 days we discovered the real reason; the husband had been abusing the him (probably the family too, we’ll never know). Jack was afraid of everything – loud voices, thunder, water, newspapers, spoons, pots, brooms – it didn’t matter what it was, all he had to do was see you holding something and he would drop to the floor and cower or roll over in submission. We’ve had him 2 years and in that time he’s gone from a skin and bones malnourished puppy to a healthy, round loving dog. He still has issues (hates strangers, barks at everything) but he’s so sweet. Dogs are a product of their environment and their owners but when you rescue one they will love you for the rest of their life. They know when they’ve been saved and are grateful everyday. It makes me sick thinking about what Vick did. Those animals had no regard for those poor dogs, they just wanted to make a buck. I hope they’ll regret that decision when they’re locked up in cages like the dogs they tortured.

  5. homeimprovementninja

    Yeah, anyone that thinks torturing dogs to get them to fight is okay is a moron. Vick is a moron because he’s rich enough that he didn’t need the money from dog fighting. That means, he didn’t do it for the money, he did it because he likes it. Asshole.

  6. I-66

    Annnnd one of his boys rolled over on him this morning, as expected.

  7. Ms Anthrope

    Amen. People suck. Dogs Rule!

  8. mysterygirl!

    I love that picture of Thora. She looks like she’s plotting something.

    If you treat a dog with kindness, it will be loyal to you forever. I can’t imagine how anyone could abuse one.

  9. I-66

    Yes, MG!.

    Sammy: “I’m thirsty”
    Thora: “What he doesn’t know is I just peed in his bowl…”

  10. playfulinnc

    The dog responds to the neuroses of his/her owners. If the owners are racist, the dog picks up on that, etc.

    What a jerk.

  11. Velvet

    NSLW – Someone mistreated little Milo? Oh, they must pay! I’m not sure what Thora went through prior to my boyfriend finding her on the streets of Savannah, but she was friendly and happy. Of course she was just 3 months old, so there wasn’t a lot of time to ruin her. She is sometimes food aggressive, but that’s a new thing. There’s Thora pre-breakup and Thora post-breakup. The post breakup Thora is more skittish, mostly because my ex went through a really rough time, and sadly, Thora went along for the ride on that.

    Circ – Oh, well, look who rose from the ashes! I’ll have you know I WAS sick, and couldn’t talk for 3 days due to sore throat. It was wonderful!

    Kerrin – Meh. My stomach just turned at your story, because I think this may be a similar situation FreckledK has with her pup. He’s three and exactly as you describe – hyper, jumpy and food obsessed. All that is a result of lack of love. Though, your pup was also abused, jesus. I’m not a total nazi, I do spank my pups when they are bad, but, a few spankings when they are puppies and some discipline goes a long way. Thora and Sammy haven’t been yelled at in years. I think about my “next dogs” (not a lot, but it still crosses my mind) and I don’t know that I could do a puppy again, it’s too hard. But, if you take an older dog, you get all the baggage with it. It’s just so hard.

    Ninja – I found the place where your dog is going to come from. Washington Animal Rescue League. I’m packing my things and moving up there, their facility is unbelievable. I’m going to try to get a kennel for myself.

    I66 – Truly, there is no honor among thieves.

    Ms. Anthrope – A woman of few words. Still tired from the weekend?

    Mystery Girl – It would definitely be Thora doing the plotting. She’s so smart she scares me. She can now find my car on the streets of Dupont when we’re on a walk. She will walk up to the car and jump on it. I can only hope one day I’ll come home and she’ll announce she’s got a job. That would rule.

    I66 – You need more doggies!

    Playful – I agree, though, I’ve seen dogs bark at anyone who is non-white because it is different than what they know. I never did understand that. My dogs, for instance, HATE Indian people. I think the robes and such really freak them out. Sammy is also not fond of anyone wearing a hoodie and sunglasses, a la the Unibomber. Dogs are funny (and sometimes embarrassing) with what they come up with. Though, I never ever squelch their instincts. I may need it if someone breaks in one day. Thora will go in for the kill.

  12. barbara

    Truthfully very few animals are born to be aggressive. Dogfights scare me to death. They start so fast, are so loud, and can result in unbelievable damage to animals and people. I’m glad you weren’t hurt in Phoenix. I’m sorry Thora’s ear was torn, but glad she is so tough and seems to have fully recovered. Those two are high up there on my list of favorite dogs.

  13. I-66

    By more dogs, you mean any dogs, though Chick Magnet is only 15 minutes away. When I win the lottery and buy a big place, I’m getting like 4 dogs.

  14. Phil

    I would agree with everything you say except the “no bad dogs” part.

    While I do agree dogs are a product of their environments, I do believe pit-bulls have been bred in such a way over their existence that they are inherently dangerous. It’s just in their genes. Otherwise, why don’t we hear about someone being mauled by a beagle?

  15. Tacoma!

    God I hate Michael Vick, and am FLABBERGASTED that anyone would think it’s not a big deal.
    My dog Minnie handles a confrontation just like her mommy- confusion, denial, avoidance, and a steely refusal to forgive. A friend’s female dog didn’t like her and growled when we went for a visit- so Minnie spent the entire day making sure there was a 10′ buffer. Even after the other dog decided that Minnie might be fun to hang around.

  16. Rusty

    Saying that a crime against a dog is worse than a crime against a woman, a human being, is fucking insane.

    If personally killing five dogs would save one woman from being sexually assaulted, sign me up.

    No reasonable person can defend Vick’s alleged actions. But let’s not go totally off the deep end here.

  17. Inowpronounceyou

    “Vick does 6.” I can see the headlines now, especially since one of his co-defendants just rolled over this morning.

  18. Velvet

    B – Thora is a tough girl, that’s for sure.

    I66- Four? That’s all? I want like 100.

    Phil – This is a tough one. Some breeds are more likely to be aggressive than others, but it is for that fact that certain people take them and breed them to be aggressive. It’s the vicious cycle. You do know that there are just as many nutty Dalmations and that the number 1 dog breed who bit humans a few years back was everyone’s favorite Labrador, right?

    Tacoma – Minnie? How did I not know that name?

    Rusty – Who said that? Not me. Did you read it? I said that it was not PROVEN that a crime occurred in that hotel room with Kobe Bryant. And in fact, since we have this whole justice system thingy, he was officially, in a court of law, found not guilty, thereby saying that a crime did not occur. My personal sidebar on that is that as a woman if go up to a guy’s hotel room, I’m planning on having sex with him, not watching the Disney Channel. And for you to compare the death of 5 dogs as somehow a small price to pay for saving a woman from being assualted is about as fucking insane as what you just “thought” you read in my words.

    INPY – They always sell out. Always. I don’t know if he’ll do the jail time though…something tells me they will all just have to pay fines and have their breeder’s licenses permanently revoked.

  19. Tacoma!

    Because I have to physically stop myself from talking about my dogs because- well, I won’t stop. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m getting pretty intolerant about people who don’t like dogs. Or people who aren’t excited ENOUGH about my dogs. Really, if you see one of my dogs I expect you to fall to your knees, rub their bellies, and spend hours talking about how cute and smart and well behaved they are.
    I think it’s a blessing for all people that I don’t have children yet…

  20. freckledk

    I can’t see Thora and Sammy without hearing their “voices.” You really do have two of the best dogs ever, which can certainly be attributed to their having you as an owner. The three of you are lucky to have one another. It’s quite the happy family.

    And Michael Vick is a cock.

  21. Velvet

    Tacoma – Then I must tell you about this article a friend sent me today.

    FK – Ted and Jukebox have voices now too.

  22. BBTY

    Velvie, you should know that Rusty doesn’t even read posts. HE just likes to accuse people of shit. he can dish it but can’t take it. And since when does he respect any creature, woman or dog? I didn’t see YOU comparing raped women with dead dogs…in fact you were busting Nancy Grace for her stupid show…SIGH. DC Bloggers…no wonder this city sucks.

  23. Inowpronounceyou

    Personally I think he’s getting time. This is going to be the “statement case” as opposed to when the likes of Qyntel Woods went to court.

    Maybe we should start a pool?

  24. I-66

    I’m in for a pool.

    As long as BBTY is too.

  25. BBTY

    Pool? Does this include skinny dipping–then I am in!

  26. I-66

    That can be arranged!

  27. Velvet

    Let it be known, cough, BBTY, cough, that I66 is the one who tried to nicely warn you of your entanglements with certain other bloggers, cough, cough, as in bloggers who don’t read the post then leave nutjob comments…cough see comment 16, cough.

    Wow. That was a lot of coughing.

    Anyway, it was my long way of saying, if i66 tells you to do something, you should do it. So, a pool it is.

    Now. Where’s INPY to get it started?

  28. I-66

    Dammit. Is that my only legacy?

  29. Velvet

    No, you also operate, very successfully I might add, the ever-popular body-part-as-commenter program. Remember?

  30. Phil

    I did not know that, V, though I can attest that Dalmations are nutty as hell. They drive me up the wall.

  31. Velvet

    Someone told me that thing about the Labradors, but, of course we could go back and forth on it because Labs are the most common household dog as well, and so since there are more of them, there will be more bites, etc.

    Don’t you think if you got a pit as a puppy and were nice to it, treated it well, that it wouldn’t have a bone of aggression in its body? Of course, unless it is victim to the same problem the Dalmations are – overbreeding and inbreeding…then I guess all bets are off.

    Some breeds are definitely more prone to aggression (I saw a teacup Chihuahua try to take out a Shi-tzu last night at the park) than others. Rotts, pits, dalmations, chows, they are all on that list. Even surprisingly, German Shepherds.

    This is why Thora and Sammy rule the roost over here. I don’t want them ganging up on me and turning on me.

  32. I-66

    Ah… it has been a while since we saw Freckled K’s coccyx around here, hasn’t it?

  33. Coccyx Pryor

    I ain’t dead yet!!

  34. freckledk

    My coccyx is a fair-weather coccyx, I’m afraid. When everything is coming up roses, the coccyx stays mum.

    I want to take a dip in the pool, too. And George wants a voice…something macho and a little bit crazy. Get it done.

  35. BBTY

    yes I know (cough) but hell stirring the pot keeps the shit from sticking to the bottom.

    How IS that cough coming along, Velvie?

  36. I-66

    So much coughing. Must be something in both of your throats, methinks.

  37. carrie m

    I’m late to the thread, but well said. I agree with all, b/c I’m also a dog owner – 2 purebred and 3 rescue dogs to date – and they are part of my family. Velvet, I didn’t realize Sammy and Thora were such low riders – my favorite now b/c of my Fraggle and Misty.

    And Tacoma, if I’ve ever seen your dog and I was on the same side of the street, that would be my reaction I’m sure b/c I get more excited to see dogs than people.

  38. Mojo

    I freeze and scream like a crow when Thora bites my little head. What does that say about my environment?

    I still love her though.

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