I’m so over the whole debates / who will be our next great leader thing. They all suck. It’s no secret I love Giuliani, but oy, that wife. And for any of you who stupidly think Hillary Clinton doesn’t have her OWN personal agenda that she will enact if she wins, might I remind you of the very self-serving, Pardongate? Those two are out for themselves, and only themselves. Don’t forget it. And don’t come crying to me when you vote for her, and she wins (please no, please!) and then she switches our economy to Communism with all the money we make somehow funneling straight to her and her ugly man-suit collection.
Now, let’s do a little voting where you actually CAN make a difference.
I’ve been tasked with the mother of all tasks. Sixes and Sevens has a formal event to attend for work. While we all hope she can clean her act up enough to impress the people at this event, my part is to direct her in finding a dress for her size 6, lacks an ounce of fat, perfectly toned arms, pert little B-cups, perfect little “I never lift a finger to work out but miraculously I can hold a tractor up with one hand because someone used the jack to stir the sweet tea and change the flat with my other hand” frame. She wants black or deep merlot red and formal. Here are the options I’ve sent her so far. Because some of us are label whores, cough, me, cough, I’ll tell you the maker but not the price. I don’t want the money to sway anyone because let’s face it, money should not be the deciding factor when you have to find something tasteful and it’s not our money anyway. This is an important purchase – it is not easy to make Sixes and Sevens look serious and not the type of girl who would ever, oh, let a guy spooch on her face.
Notes are below each dress. Remember – perfect body. There is nothing she can’t wear. Yeah yeah, I hate her too. Now, please vote!
Dress 1; Nicole Miller. As of right now, they do not have Sixes & Seven’s size, but I’m hoping someone will return one perfect, unworn size 6 shortly to Bluefly.
Dress 2; Nicole Miller. They have a size 6.
Dress 3; Tadashi.
Dress 4; Elie Tahari. They also only have a size 8, but a 6 could be returned shortly allowing Sixes to snap it up.
Dress 5; A.B.S. Also available in black. Available in both sizes, both colors.
Dress 6; Tadashi. They don’t have a size 6, but they have a 4 and she might fit into that. Or someone could return a 6. People
like me do that at Bluefly all the time.
Dress 7; Vera Wang.
Dress 8; A.B.S.
Dress 9; A.B.S.
Dress 10; JS Boutique. Yeah, I’ve never heard of them either.
Dress 11; Calvin Klein.
Dress 12: Tadashi. It’s brown. Still waiting for her to respond if she’ll accept brown in the lineup, so don’t get too attached to this one.