Tuesday came and went and there’s no Sixes. I don’t know what to say. She’s unreliable. And a whore. And she’s currently trying really hard to not let her current beau know as such. So we won’t be seeing her for a while.
Today I’m going to provide for you a live-blogging stream of my work-related bitching. Check back if you care to see how my day is going.
11:14 a.m.:
The bathroom currently smells like someone cooked a flounder, then took a shit on it. This a twice-daily occurrence. Someone needs a colonoscopy, STAT.
12:24 p.m.:
I just informed someone that seeing as how my company wrote a contract on misrepresented terms, he may want to consult a lawyer, but the client is still, technically, legally, HIS. He said, “Oh NO! I don’t want them anymore. They are yours!” “Again, sir, you probably want to call your attorney because this appears to be one giant mess.”
3:59 p.m.:
I just spied like the 5th pair of NUDE SUNTAN pantyhose here in the building. Jesus christ. That is not cool.
Gross! I see the new job allows blog-at-work benefits. And what about the other benefits? Have you put aside a leotard for me yet?
yeah yeah yeah. You’ll just saw me! I came to DC just for E’s T&A! I was going to post about my most recently blow job but I didn’t think anyone cared.
Awesome.
I love women’s lib. It proves they can take just as big a stanky as the men.
You know Sixes can’t keep up this charade with the hockey player forever. Eventually, he’s going to find somebody’s car keys or class ring down there.
thought you would enjoy this
http://wrongcards.com/ecard/nooo-nooo-nooooooooooooooo
Those cards are HELL-arious. Only from BMW, of course. I assume you’ve gotten more than a few of these from E?
Oh God. In our building, the ladies’ room abuts the mens room, and you can hear and FEEL the office phenomenon also known as Diarrhea Man take his massive 3x daily squirts. Makes me gag every single time, so much so that I have to put my phone away and go back to work.
I wrote about a work experience where someone left huge shits…probably in the comments section of your blog and waiting to hear other work updates…anyone catch on fire yet….or set the toilet on fire?
We have a guy at work they call “Dead Man Walking”. His brand of extra-strength ‘au de toilet’ actually reaches into the lounge and hallway outside of the men’s room. I have no idea what a decomposing body in the middle of a swamp in August smells like, but it has to be almost as bad as this guy.
it’s only worthy to note if those nude pantyhose were accompanied by open toed shoes?
Did I ever write about a former co-worker who had had five children and couldn’t control her farts. She would let one rip and say “That’s what happens to you when you’ve had children.” Her. Anyway….she used to wear nude colored stockings with open toed shoes. She was a filthy woman. She wore those stockings that have a darker toe? Oh yeah. Her stockings were filthy so the toes were always black or gray. My god. My stomach just rolled remembering her. Her skin looked dirty too. Amy Winehouse skin.
Cube, just think…someone had unprotected sex with that filthy cow at least 5 times (or 5 different men, if you want to completely wretch)!
and imagine the mommy issues those kids had being squeezed out her No-No!
Sixes: Her child were overweight filthy beasts, as well. Her youngest had that same dullard look on her face, greasy hair and gray filth skin. She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. When she would have to bring the child into the office I wanted to Lysol everything.
Velvie’s job is a Dungeon,
Someone’s Bowels don’t function,
the clients need a lawyer,
the Hose isn’t for-ya!