Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Stuck On a Rollercoaster, Can’t Get Off This Ride

On the flip side, you just can’t pay for entertainment this good.

At the company “holiday party:”
“Let us bow our heads and pray.” Um. what? I looked around the room to the mostly bowed heads thinking, “Am I in a cult?” I looked to either side, flanked by two Jews and a Pakistani, myself mostly an Atheist except for my belief in fate. We kept looking at each other and giggling. Did no one in that room besides us think that was just wholly inappropriate for work? This is what I get for working in Virginia.

On an Email from I.T. this morning:
“Whoever spilled sugar in the Xerox machine, please be more careful next time.”

On a mass Email from someone I don’t know to our entire company, a month after I first started:
“Blah blah blah, Betty’s daughter’s cousin’s nephew’s babysitter’s mailman has the cancer and needs bone marrow. Please reply and let me know if you can donate.”

In the Office Next to me, said to a Coworker:
“Do you think it’s wrong to clip your nails in the office? This one (points at me) says it’s wrong.” Said coworker, my friend D, replies in disgust, as do several other coworkers. I walked D down the hall and said, “So now you know why I begged you to come work here. It was my goal to surround myself with people who are not idiots. I’m not sure if I’ll make it though.” I’m going to start getting my Brazilians done at the office.

11 Comments

  1. JohnnyDC

    I’m currently being entertained by the UAW rejecting the bailout aka cutting off their own legs from under them.

    Priceless!

  2. Uncle Keith

    Let me offer my office as a possible site for your Brazilian, if your office turns it down.

  3. Phil

    Why would the Jews & Pakistani be opposed to prayer? Other than the fact that I presume the “pray-er” was delivering it via the Baby Jesus, it all ends up to the same God.

  4. LiLu

    Oh my lord… clipping your nails? I heard my boss doing that once at my old job and thought it was gross… until I walked by, and realized it was his TOENAILS, and it was quickly upgraded to “vomitous” status.

  5. Ibid

    I’ve been at that party. You think it’s a Thanksgiving potluck, but it’s actually a Jesus (pronounced “CHeeeeeesus”) Fest ignoring all the Muslims, Jews, and atheists in the room.

  6. Maxie

    We always pray at our work events– it annoys the life out of me. I’m agnostic, but even if I were a Christian I still don’t believe in making everyone pray in that kind of setting.

    At a groundbreaking event for our new building we prayed TWICE. And this is government which I feel makes it even worse.

  7. Washington Cube

    You are not dragging our dear waxing lady into that situation. Get the Genna Bush wax woman! The one with stories.

  8. elvis

    True story. I once worked in a place. We received emails. One day, I get this notice that I have new email. The subject was “morning sunshine.” When I opened it up, it reads, “I can’t stop thinking about you…” and contained lines like “I love screwing you and [intimate details follow].” Five minutes later, there was an urgent “recall email” red flag notice. I can only guess that sender accidentally hit “reply all” while working in multiple windows.

  9. jordanbaker

    We weren’t even allowed to sing the Jebusy carols at our party. I can’t imagine what people would’ve done if someone had suggested praying.

  10. always write

    Even in my office – a Jewish organization with separate kosher microwave and early Friday closings for Shabbat – public praying would NEVER fly.

  11. wildbill

    Hi Velvie! Merry Christmas to You, Mr.X & 6’s & 7’s (wherever in Pennsyltucky she is hiding)Having a Great time in NYC & hoping the same fo you in DC!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

© 2020 Velvet in Dupont

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑