Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

When I Find You I’ll Be Wild And Knocking Down Your Door

Ok. I canceled on CL#2BlueEyes for Friday. I was beat and not in the mood to go out and be my charming self. We had an hour and a half of IM’ing though. Here are the best parts.

Scenario 1: We have something crazy in common:
Velvet: I am JAMMING over here to CMT radio. It’s sort of embarrassing, but, I like it.
CL#2BlueEyes: Is that online?
Velvet: Yep.
CL#2: LINK! NOW!!!
(Velvet sends link.)
CL#2: Thanks man!
Velvet: My god…you listen to country music too?
CL#2: Yes, I am the perfect man.

Scenario 2: It took an hour, but we moved the chat to sex:
Velvet: You sure talk a good game. Maybe one day I’ll find out.
CL#2: Maybe. I have no doubt you’re good.
Velvet: Nice!
CL#2: Or at least could be with me…
Velvet: You’re making me blush and smile over here.

Scenario 3: Uh oh. From Sex to Porn:
Velvet: Good to know your priorities are in order.
CL#2: Yup. Beer, Food, Porn.
Velvet: I like that list. Don’t test me on the porn thing though. I’ve been kicked out of Excalibur Film’s website for “viewing too many trailers.”
CL#2: You are shitting me.
Velvet: Nope
CL#2: Ok. We’re getting married.
Velvet: Yes. I have a vast collection.
CL#2: When can we have the wedding?
Velvet: Damn, you’re this excited over this crap, I should tell you the better story.
CL#2: I’m waiting!
Velvet: I got kicked out of a strip bar in Baltimore when Brianna Banks was stripping there because I was taking pictures.
Velvet: I’m serious. I have the pics on my computer at home, I’ll send them to you.
CL#2: You better! I’m her biggest fan. Besides you of course.
Velvet: You’re killing me.
CL#2: I’m on the floor – dead now.
Velvet: Anyone who knows me knows I love me some Brianna.
CL#2: Ok, here’s where we separate a casual fan from the pros: what was her original porn name?
Velvet: Mirage
Velvet: You’re playing a game you can’t win.
CL#2: I think I already have won!

He might have. We’ll see.

We talked for a couple hours on Friday night. We’re now making plans for Sunday night, when he gets back from his weekend trip to New Jersey of all places.

CL#2BlueEyes, in addition to worshipping the same Porn Princess as I, has a southern accent and the bright blue eyes. We’re in sync. Our conversation was amazing today. He actually said to me, without any prompting on my part, “Don’t you hate when you meet someone and they just disappear for no reason. I hate that. They should just tell you they don’t like you or whatever the reason so you don’t wonder forever.” My god….a man after my own heart – on many counts. I can’t believe that I have two potentially decent men on the line and may find myself in the position of having to make a decision. All I have to say to that is “Uh Oh.”

This is going to be fun, but I don’t think it’s going to have a great ending.

1 Comment

  1. Velvet

    Laurie (aka buggy) said…
    Not a fan of the porn or the strippers, BUT I know guys enjoy when a girl is. He’s definitely impressed!
    The scandal is always the best part, and immediately after the scandal when you get to laugh about it with girlfriends…but you’re right, it usually ends with something going awry. Just be sure to share the drama here. 🙂

    2/04/2006 02:55:31 AM

    Crazy Girl City said…
    Bright blue eyes are always a plus.

    2/04/2006 07:46:43 AM

    Stef said…
    Most great relationships are built on a foundation of common interests…. country music, porn, and strippers? Sounds good to me. 🙂

    But seriously, good luck with the juggle. I hope that things become clearer on their own, cuz you’re right, that decision can be a very tough one to make.

    2/04/2006 08:23:31 AM

    Velvet said…
    Ladies! What are you all doing up so early on a Saturday?

    2/04/2006 10:27:30 AM

    Washington Cube said…
    We’re up reading YOU, Velvet,what do you think we’re doing? :::sipping coffee::: I have to leave for Annapolis in two hours, and while I enjoy the friendship part of the journey, I am dreading the long ride down and back, for some reason. Prolly tired and need more coffee.

    #2 is definitely on the hook now. You’ve got him dangling. It will be interesting to see what develops. #2 you can tease and toy with, but it sounds like #4 is the one who will have more power to tear your heart.

    You were really good out there on the field with #2, shooting back whatever he tossed at you. Well done.

    ~~Coach Cubie. JOKING!!!

    2/04/2006 10:35:15 AM

    Velvet said…
    Cubie! You are an incredibly intelligent woman! I’ll take you as a coach anyday!

    Laurie – Of course I’ll share the drama! You know that!

    CG – Yup. Blue eyes make me mush.

    Stef – Yes, I never thought I would get to this point where there would actually be two decent men on the line. Of course I have to actually meet #2, but, I have pictures and based on Friday’s hours of conversation, I can’t see that there wouldn’t be a click.

    I’m learning a lot here that I’ll probably reiterate in a post in the next few days: I took the bull by the horns with both these guys. I emailed #2 out of the blue on Monday and look where I am now. I’m really losing faith in “the rules” and that stupid book. There’s a line you can cross where you’re just plain aggressive, but I don’t think a phone call and an email are anywhere near that line.

    Of course I’ll ask you all to reel my ass back in if I go into full on stalk mode.

    2/04/2006 10:43:23 AM

    m said…
    that whole thing he said about meeting people and then them dissapearing makes me think that maybe he’s going through that with a girl he met and really liked and is/was dating..
    of course, i could be wrong ’cause i don’t know what conversation you two were having when he brought that up..
    anyway, i think CL#2 would be more ‘boytoy’ than ‘boyfriend’ material.. but of course, have fun and see where that goes..

    2/04/2006 11:19:37 AM

    AsianMistress said…
    Can we watch porn together Velv? Hahahaha.

    That’s awesome.

    2/04/2006 12:05:57 PM

    Bilious Pudenda said…
    I’m sorry Velvet, I just have to. I canna help it! The pull is just too strong for me. I canna resist it! The forces of darkness and evil have their tallons in me.

    Please stop! Don’t make me say it!
    Pleeeeeeaase, No!
    No! No! Noooo!

    “Yawny, Yawny, Cunt, Cunt!”

    I haven’t heard such utterly infantile flirting since I was second trimester in utero and me Mam was looking for a Sugar Daddy.


    2/04/2006 12:55:42 PM

    Barbara said…
    OK, but has anything new happened with NJ? I’m not sure why I like him so much. I think it has to do with the fact that he’s so good with your dogs. Don’t let him retreat for so long this time. You may need to remind him that you shared something special this week.

    2/04/2006 12:57:42 PM

    Crazy Girl City said…
    Sadly, I am down south today for work. 0600-1500. Tomorrow, too.

    I’ve been up since 5am, but I didn’t go to sleep until 2:30am, as I didn’t even leave DC until 11:30pm.

    Ah my crazy rock star life. Ha.

    2/04/2006 01:24:07 PM

    Bilious Pudenda said…
    Wait a minute!
    I’m missing an ‘ L ‘ here.
    What if I need it for my next comment as I engage in DC blog predation.
    Shite! Double shite!
    Check around would you, Ve vet
    That’s a dear!

    2/04/2006 01:32:41 PM

    Velvet said…
    M – I wrote that a little out of context. Sorry. What led up to that was our discussion of where we disappeared to in the last month since we last spoke. He said he dated a few people but nothing important or lasting, then he said all that stuff. He didn’t make it sound like he was hung up on anyone, but I suppose I’ll find out.

    AM – You’re not my type. I like them more, well, male.

    BP – Step away from the medicine cabinet. Please.

    Barbara – sigh. In our email volley, it was left in his court Thursday and he didn’t answer. Last night I sent him a text that said to have a good trip. He wrote back and said thanks, leaving at 5 a.m. That was it. I’m not sure he’s capable of really being aggressive, and I need to see a little more of that. But, he has crawled into my heart. Just have to see if he stays there.

    CG – Sucky. Your weekend in hell. Sorry.

    2/04/2006 01:57:29 PM

    trueborn said…
    Having choices is what it’s all about. Good to hear that NJ stepped up to the plate. Lets hope he can deliver.

    2/04/2006 02:49:14 PM

    Bilious Pudenda said…
    Perhaps I’ve been too subtle.
    You see I spelled the word ‘talon’ with two ” L’s ” in my comment of 12:55 pm.
    To cover this oversight I posted my 1:32 pm comment to say I am missing an ‘L’ as if I have a fixed ‘inventory’ of letters to work with. I thought it to be a witty way of covering my ass on a simple spelling mistake.
    Meds are for folks that do not have easy access to them. I can get ANYTHING I want, when I want it. So I don’t…no challenge.

    2/04/2006 04:10:33 PM

    meghansdiscontent said…
    I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!!!

    I’m pulling with all my heart for CL#4 and then . . . you make me tumble for CL#2.

    Blue eyes?
    Country music?
    Southern accent?
    Fan of porn?

    Velvet, chica, where did you meet these men???

    Because IF and WHEN I get out of the Man Free Zone, I’m driving straight to this place where good men converge.

    2/05/2006 03:10:17 PM

    playfulindc said…
    Wow. You are in a whole different league than me…The porn thing is the line with me. I could lie and say I enjoy it, but it’s just so…many things. Mostly, I know men are visual creatures and I spend countless hours on a treadmill so that I can get a rise outta my man by just walking past him.

    That being said…you sexy vixen!

    Will there ever really be a choice? Nah…you’ll know when you need to know.

    2/05/2006 06:23:59 PM

    Comment Deleted
    This post has been removed by the author.

    2/05/2006 11:36:24 PM

    Larissa said…
    can’t wait to hear what happens when you meet him!

    2/05/2006 11:38:27 PM

    Johnny said…
    Brianna good.

    2/06/2006 12:15:58 PM

    bettyjoan said…
    As a fellow country music fan, I’d say that alone gives CL#2 the lead at this point. 😉 I’ll definitely have to try that whole CMT radio thing.

    2/06/2006 02:09:32 PM

    Siryn said…
    I nominate Velvet to be the new Bachelorette. But you will have to censor the porn thing if you want to be on tv.

    As for #4… *whistling innocently*

    2/06/2006 06:40:11 PM

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