Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I Might Be Barely Breathing But I’m Not Dead

I’m sorry the posting has been sparse. I promise I’m not disappearing, or stopping the blog. I was tossed off the horse with this NewJersey thing and I’ve got no men in the hopper. I forgot to stock up for the lean times. Give me time. I won’t get boring on you. Don’t forget, there were many years of shitty dating before the birth of the blog. I have a few completely ridiculous things up the sleeve. Believe me.

Now, there are a couple things to cover.

That email response I got from NewJersey when he was answering my latest Craigslist ad – I forwarded to a friend. I would link to said friend, but I’m not sure that friend wants to be outed. It was NOT El Guapo, even though you all made that request. El Guapo is busy being guapo, I can’t be calling him for everything. Anyway, the friend handled it beautifully.

Response to NJ from fake email without original email attached: I didn’t think we would meet again, NewJersey.
NJ: Do I know you? How so?
Response: You were the one to answer my ad on Craigslist, NewJersey.

HA! Giggling over here. That’s pretty funny. He’s gone silent now. Guess he’s over there checking his dance card to see who it could possibly be. It’s petty, but it made me laugh. I’d laugh more if he would write back and then be sent on a date somewhere, but that doesn’t seem to be what fate has in mind for this little prick.

Anyway, this week has brought a lot of interesting things into my life. This time without the distraction of men has really allowed me to get parts of my emotional house in order. Last weekend I went to see my Great Uncle M in South Jersey. It became apparent that someone was going to have to get involved in his medical care because he is having trouble understanding the nurses and doctor at the home. Since he never married and had no children, it’s up to the rest of us. Everyone seems to be doing a little part, but no one has become the advocate. My other Great Uncle (J) is incredibly busy with his own daughter, grandson and great granddaughter, so he agreed to let me share the Power of Attorney with him on Uncle M’s medical issues. I feel like I really have to get involved with this, because my poor Uncle M is so upset, and so unsure of what is happening to him. After I left, he called my parents and told them it really made him happy that I went to see him. It’s a long drive, but I certainly plan on doing more of it in the future.

With something bad has to come something good or whatever that statement is. After the demise of NewJersey, you all may have seen a comment on my blog from an obvious “ex-friend.” She realized I was hurting and decided to reach out. We had dinner tonight and I’m glad that we were able to rekindle our friendship mojo. We have a good banter, and it was awesome to know that we’re back from commercial break and it feels like nothing even happened to begin with.

I’ve been talking about me me me to my friends for the past three weeks with this NewJersey thing, and frankly, I was getting sick of myself too. While the loss is still very palpable, I’m angry enough about the way he handled it to know that I don’t miss the person underneath. I miss the idea. I’m coming around the corner at another birthday, and this is one I’m going to feel. I’ve never minded this non-stop dating before because I never wanted to set the circus down with one man before. But all of a sudden, during and after the end of NewJersey, I realized that it might be time for me. I want more. I don’t know how I’m going to get it, but I want more.


  1. I-66

    “me me me”?

    But Velvet, that’s who we’re here for!

  2. Sandra Dee

    Ditto! Talk yourself up with us!

  3. Elvis

    Goddamn. Thank God you’re back. Now I can take these patches off. Was going through withdrawal. Had to go down to Sunset boulevard and ask all dealers for anything they had. “Chu want chiva, mang?” “No damnit, none of that heroin shit… I need quarter paragraph of Velvet… got any?” I was strung out, jittery, kicked out of my $30/night motel, paranoid, carrying everything I owned in a trash bag asking friends for $5 loans.

    I just had my fix. Life is good.

  4. Siryn

    I would have loved to have seen him sweat some bullets. The next question that he can’t ask… “who are you?” haha! Rock. ON.

  5. AlieMalie

    glad to see you’ve got your chin up, Velvet.


  6. Larissa

    hear ya on wanting more. if only the right guy magically appeared when we’re ready!

  7. NotCarrie

    Understand about the birthday realizations. My last one was a surprising eye-opener of, “Stop being an effing wuss!”

    And “me, me, me” is not a bad thing.

  8. The Eternal Freshman

    Man- good for you. It took a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ breakup for me to come to that same realization. ANd although I don’t have a boyfriend or steady stream of dates, I’m pretty happy– because I’m looking for and working towards what I want. What a concept!

  9. Johnny

    u need a spanking.

    i intend to deliver.


  10. jade

    Well, having just gone through something similar (though I didn’t get the courtesy of a goodbye/breakup), I’ve learned a few things:
    1. Move on. No revenge, no attempts at contact, nothing. Just. Move. On.
    2. It’s all about me. Seriously. What else should matter? I gotta be happy.
    3. In 6 months, you’ll wonder what all the tears were for.
    4. There is *always* something better. The hard part is having the patience to wait for it.
    5. We all have our baggage, we all make our mistakes. Some people treat us badly, some treat us well. Don’t get too tied to either.
    6. Lots of toads, one prince. 🙂
    7. A night on the town (all dolled up at a fun bar or club) is a fabulous idea.

  11. annie

    Missing the idea of the man more than the man. Beautiful clarity!

  12. Barbara

    Velvet — You are really a good person and a good friend. I really hope your prince charming shows up soon! It’s your turn, eh?

  13. Kristin

    You were all “me me me”?

  14. Stef

    Glad to hear you’re keeping yourself busy with real-life things. Good luck with your Great Uncle. He sounds like someone’s who’s been very important and who knows and cares about you. He’s who’s important right now, so keep giving him your attention and let New Jersey just fall by the wayside. He’s beyond unimportant.

    Keep on keepin’ on!

  15. Crazy Girl City

    We need to set up a dinner soon lady!

  16. Big Sis

    “I have a few completely ridiculous things up the sleeve. Believe me.”
    A snotty kleenex?

    I am with Kristin, I do not see ‘me me me’ anywhere. Oh and johnny, re: the spanking. Care to go a couple of rounds with the champ big boy?

  17. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    When exactly is your birthday, doll? I owe ya a drink or two. 🙂

  18. FlameOn

    Hopefully once you realize you want more it will only be a matter of time before you get it. At least that’s what we can hope, right?

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