Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

One Night vs. That Night vs. The Other Night

December 8th, 1980: “One Night”

The man I would write an Economic Theory paper on in grad school, 23 years later, was shot dead. Proof he was smarter than most and that this loss was utterly a waste? “Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people, living for today. Imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too. Imagine all the people, living life in peace.” If we all lived in John Lennon’s world, without religion, without things to segregate us from others, we would have nothing to fight over.

December 8th, 2006: “That Night”

That night there was a blogger Happy Hour – the last Blogger Happy Hour I would ever attend. The theatrics, the drama, the immaturity, the crap. It got old, fast.

That night I set Sixes&Sevens up to meet another blogger she fancied. She promptly gave him several more reasons to hate D.C.

That night I met a new friend through Sixes&Sevens who I then saw four more times over the next year – bachelorette party, wedding and two stopovers in Texas on my trek cross country and back, this summer. Despite her being happily married to a wonderful man, Ninja still refers to her as “his cutie,” and denounces her pregnancy by saying, “That should be MY baby.” You may have had a chance if you weren’t wearing such a gay turtleneck and if G-man wasn’t such a fun World of Warcraft playing mo-fo!

(That night was the birth of the gay turtleneck, by the way.)

That night I broke up with (rhymes with “fur lock,” nod to I66, because I can’t even say the fake blog name) for like the 130th time. This particular breakup parade was spurred by a record-breaking, even for him, 18 consecutive phone calls (no lie.) Because my phone was in my coat pocket, he had the nerve to declare me, over voicemail, me!, a “shitty girlfriend.”

December 8, 2007: “The Other Night”

The other night was thankfully much more peaceful than December 8th of last year. I went to a tree trimming party with 25 gay men. I was the only female there, but I did bring my own heterosexual male companion.

The other night was the first time said “male companion” and I made it out in public, in months.

The other night, we didn’t stay out in public for very long, scrambling back across town to my apartment where we promptly ripped each other’s clothes off.

The other night was one of those nights where I couldn’t stop. I never wanted it to end. It was perfect. It was the best I’ve had. A surprising first for us, in one particular capacity. Could not have been better…truly.

The other night I left my sliding glass door open and it was cold outside. The wind blew through the living room, around the corner, and into the bedroom where I slept while he watched, keeping me incredibly warm in his arms.

The other night was one of those kind of nights where I didn’t mind walking the dogs at 5 a.m., in the pouring rain.

The other night I was more comfortable in my own bed and in my own skin and in my own mind than I have ever been.


  1. barbara

    The other night sounds so right.

  2. Lemmonex

    The moments where you can be comfortable in your own skin, truly, are far and few between. Glad you got one of those nights…true magic.

  3. I-66

    Myyyy god… that was one year ago? My how time flies and how things change.

    Here’s hoping we don’t have to say the same this time next year.

  4. Lillith Tenille

    Hang on, hang on, hang on. We’re not talking about the red monstrosity of a turtle neck that he dared to post a picture of on his blog and make us vote for Gay or Not Gay??

    Now, back to the topic at hand: I’m so glad you had a “the other night” and I hope that you have thousands more just like it.

  5. Ulysses


  6. Cunning Linguist

    18 consecutive phone calls? That is an incredible number, you’d think he’d have gotten the hint at number 8, whether you were ignoring him on purpose or not. Also “fur jock” is funnier, I’m not sure why, maybe because it sounds kind of gay. Gay like a red/orange turtleneck.

  7. Chico's Bail Bonds

    Careful. Hold back… both on here and out there.

  8. homeimprovementninja

    Very moving, but I feel compelled to point out a couple of things.

    1) That sweater was EURO, not gay. EURO, EURO, EURO!!!

    2) That should be my babay, and I’m still not convinced it’s not. I’m virile enough to impregnate a woman just by being in the same room with her (although if I’m sued for child support, I will deny this statement).

    3) I’d rather fight Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell (at the same time) than play World of Warcraft, but if that’s the only thing standing between me and the mother of my child, then so be it…

    4) You let a guy sleep over after sex? As in you didn’t kick him out after you got your rocks off? This is a first for you. Wow, girl, you got it bad!

  9. Patsy

    In defense of the gay sweater, I have to agree with my child’s fake father and say yes, it was Euro. And also, it’s one of the reasons I started chatting him up in the first place. That, and he’s a hottie. Oh ninja, if only you’d come to the World of Warcraft darkside…

  10. Sixes

    **sniffle** that was sweet.

  11. E

    ah… Are you the “shitty girlfriend” who gave head at a certain sporting goods store? The one who never got an opinion on the bra/top because, upon asking for such, “the moment was right” (if the Swedes knew, they’d shove Al Gore off stage and give the Prize to you)?

    I was just waiting for you to get a text from Sixes&Sevens about…

  12. JohnnyDC

    I don’t attend blog happy hours either.

    Bloggers as a whole are a narcissistic sack of drama whores. How can you establish a real relationship when its just a one way street (and not going to you?). Which is not to say there aren’t a small number of really great regular folks in the mix.

    But for real. People wouldn’t be doing half the stalking if it wasn’t being blogged.

  13. JohnnyDC

    And BTW, my World of Warcraft avatar is a honey blonde Blood Elf Warlock by day (stripper by night).


  14. Momentary Academic

    Ooooh. It’s time for you to check in, sister. We have to get a drink and you have to talk.

  15. Laura

    Longtime reader, not always a lurker, sometime commenter: Long live Dec 8, 2007! Truly happy for you — here’s hoping 2008 is even better.

    BTW, still a Giuliani girl? I don’t think we’ve had a political rant in awhile. 🙂

  16. mysterygirl!

    Yes, we definitely need to go out for a drink.

  17. bettyjoan

    Wow, sounds like 12/8/07 was a good night–here’s to more of those!

  18. Hammer

    I remember that HH, and I remember that sweater. And as I recall, NASA later announced that its unmanly glow could be spotted from outer space. By Stevie Wonder.

    Blog Happy Hours are a mixed bag. I once saw a documentary about punk rock where one of the commentators said, “Every scene needs three things: a cast of characters, a clubhouse, and a center.”

    Well, we certainly have a cast of characters around here, and I still think that DC Blogs serves as a fine clubhouse. The center *used* to be the writing, and for a good while there was never any question about that. These days, there are times I’m not so sure that’s the case.

    I will now commence insufferable reminiscence, complain about lower back pain, and tell small children to get the hell off my lawn…

    (P.S. – World of Warcraft is completely indefensible for anyone old enough to have a driver’s license, despite Mr. T’s amazing comercial for it:

  19. Velvet

    Barbara – Yes. It was.

    Lemmonex – Magic is an excellent word for it. Thank you for adding a new one to my bevy of words to describe this!

    I66 – That was a really weird night. And yes, I’m tired of years flying by, though happy that the last particular year has come to a close.

    Lillith – HA! You remember the gay/not gay dramas! LOVE IT!!!

    Ulysses – Thank you.

    Cunning Linguist – Aah, so you remember the perp in question. You’ve been around a while then?

    Chico’s Bail Bonds – Oh, this could never ever come back to what it used to be. I’m totally focused on my feelings and my feelings only and am being very careful in what little I post. This was more of a “what a difference a year makes” post. But truth be told, even my closest friends don’t know the details. That’s a good sign I would think. Usually I’m a tell-all.

    Ninja – “That should be my babay and I’m still not convinced it’s not.” Excellent!!!!!!

    Patsy – Groan! Don’t tell him he’s a hottie. We can’t contribute to any more male egos getting larger in D.C.

    Sixes – Awww! You sniffled at me!

    E – How right you are. And how funny that I actually had that in parenthesis after the shitty girlfriend statement, then left it out.

    JohnnyDC – Oh. My. God. Call the Nuns. You made a comment that wasn’t x-rated or referred to a spanking! And you’re soooo right!

    MA, Mysterygirl! – Will do. Soon!

    Laura – Hey there! Yes, I am still a Giuliani Girl. Fo’ sho’. I think he’s the smartest, and way less self-serving that Swillary.

    BJ – Yes, I agree.

    Hammer – Ninja pay attention! Comments from a straight man on your sweater and it’s gayety gay gay gayness.

    Regarding the three, that’s an interesting take. Though my opinion has changed regarding DC Blogs as a clubhouse. A clubhouse needs rules and neutrality. I don’t see that there anymore. I’ve completely lost respect. And I’m not alone in that sentiment. So in my mind, we’re sans clubhouse.

    I have lower back pain too. All my years of waiting tables are catching up with me. Joy.

  20. Drunken Chud

    i’m actually touched by this post. this is the most real insight you’ve given in a long time. this makes me genuinely happy for you. bitch. 🙂

  21. Cunning Linguist

    I’ve been a lurker/reader of blogs for quite awhile though I only recently discovered yours. I remember the turtleneck from long ago though I can’t remember where I saw it, something like that sticks in your brain. Since you keep bugging at me I’ve decided to change my mind. I’m on Ninja’s side now, the turtleneck is Euro. I didn’t mention this in my first comment but congrats on finding happiness, we should all be so lucky.

  22. freckledk

    I couldn’t be happier right now. Happy happy happy happy happy. It’s about time that silver lining made its presence known.

    And, yes, drink and talk soon…this time without the douche-y cockblock (sorry! again!).

  23. wildbillthePirate

    I look at your blog several times a week to see what you have to say, but I just HAVE to say… Giuliani? As someone who knows and has had dealings with him, I’d have to exclaim WHAT A TOOL!!! I have many things to say about the Man- NONE of them good! All of them True! Pick any other Republican (or Democratic)NutBag and we can talk but THAT man isn’t fit for Any Public Office!

    I’m Happy to hear things are going Well for you anyway. Just try to keep your feet on the Ground

  24. Not So Little Woman

    *Doing little dance of joy*
    Whoohoo! Happy to hear a year makes such a difference. Here’s to more nights like the other night.

  25. Elisabeth

    Congrats on finding happiness…it’s something that everyone strives for, but few people achieve. I also like reading your blog by the way. I was born/raised in DC, but now in Canada and your stories make me realize how glad I am to have left.

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