Phone Call to X, today, 1:14 p.m.
V: Baby! What’s the best thing that could happen to me?
X: We got married.
X: You’re pregnant!
V: NO! Come on! A little less about “you” and a little more about “me!”
X: Napoleon got fired.
X: Betty Ford got fired.
X: I don’t know.
V: Think more globally.
[answer after the next call]
Phone Call to Lily, in the Maternity Ward, 1:17 p.m.
V: Lily, what’s the best thing that could happen?
Lily: Bipolar Betty got fired.
Lily: Well, that’s the best thing that could happen to me!
V: Come on! Why is no one getting this?
OUR OFFICE CAUGHT ON FIRE TODAY! BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Unfortunately, the public servants of the ‘burbs are markedly more responsive than those of the District, and the fire was squelched before it got to my floor. When I heard those alarms go off though, mama was out the door with all her goods in under 2 minutes. The only thing I left behind that was personal were two pairs of 6 year old Nine West boots.
See? It pays to clean out your desk!
Tomorrow’s task: fill all office fire extinguishers with kerosene.