I had a very long conversation about MotorcycleInstructor last night and again today. Last night, Helen gave me some great advice about men and love in general, then I went to bed and read more in The Art of Seduction, then today I talked to my therapist for almost an hour. Here are my thoughts:
Helen said that whatever tone a relationship has in the beginning is the tone that is set for the duration. If MotorcycleInstructor is chasing me now, let him continue to be the pursuer. So I said, “Ok, so like, if he calls I shouldn’t pick up tonight and just let him wonder where I am?” She said that was the right idea – to not be too available. Ok. Got it.
Then I read more in The Art of Seduction – a fabulous book. I am almost at the end and while most of the book pertains to winning people over, the last few chapters are about the actual act of seduction. The most important thing I learned is exactly what Helen had just told me. Men want to be the pursuer. They see it as a challenge. They think if they have to try hard to obtain you, then you are truly worth having. (Duh.) The interesting caveat to this is when they slack off in their pursuit, usually the woman steps it up and then become the pursuer. This is unattractive to the male and he backs off at this point in time. I am so loving this idea right now. Of course this is a stupid game, but I think about it like this. When some pursues me, I end up reciprocating the feeling if I like them. And I want to show that they don’t have to do all the calling, planning of dates etc. Apparently this reciprocal behavior is incorrect. I ignored MotorcycleInstructor’s call last night and decided to play this one a little smarter.
So therapist today. I tell her what I’m up to, including the above stuff about reciprocation, not being available all the time, not always having good answers for where I’ve been (“I had lunch with a friend.”) She said that it seems like I have been played by a bunch of men and now I’m going to get them back. Funny. It might be a game, but damn it is it fun. She also said that it’s not my style to play games like this or pretend I’m not interested. Again, it’s a good experiment.
This morning MotorcycleInstructor called again and left another message, but I was out walking Sammy (the love of my life) and didn’t take the phone. I called back, but then he said he was sick and he would call me later, which he did, a few times. Then he called me at 8 and I was at the gym and didn’t take my phone. I called back and then he said he would call me later on tonight. Should I ignore it again? I’m killing myself right now. I’m going to make him crazy. Again, it goes without saying that all of this should be occurring AFTER I get my motorcycle license. Too late.