Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Want You Smothered Want You Covered Like My Waffle House Hashbrowns

Leave it to me to be dateless on a Friday, but busy with men on a Tuesday.

After a couple more misses with CL#2BlueEyes, we finally met today for lunch. The misses were that he was supposed to call me on Sunday after he got back from his weekend trip. And he didn’t. He emailed Monday morning and said something like “Sorry about last night, I was beat and….” whatever. Does it matter? I wrote back and said simply:

Strike One.

He thought it was funny. We engaged in some banter and he promised to call me Monday night. But the phone didn’t ring until 11:09 people. This is not the Velvet of 5 months ago where working from home and sleeping until 9:00, okay, 10:00 a.m. is the norm. Six a.m. workouts dude. I’m sleeping at 11 p.m. Well, I wasn’t sleeping per se, but I was too tired and irritated to answer the phone.

I sent an IM Tuesday morning that said I was asleep etc. He made fun of me for a minute, then we made lunch plans since I was in D.C. for a bunch of meetings that got shuffled around. Well, at least I didn’t have to commute to the hinterlands of Gaithersburg.

So we met at 12:15 in Dupont. It was a good lunch. He’s a good guy. (He paid.) But. Damn it. My head is elsewhere. Fucking New Jersey. I’m sitting there thinking, “How dare NJ be skiing and take away my ability to concentrate and / or like BlueEyes.” Anyway, the important piece of lunch conversation.

Him: Ok, so you’re in Dallas tomorrow and Thursday, back on Friday, what are we doing this weekend?
Velvet: I’m back Friday. Not sure how I’ll feel. You’re not even waiting to get back to your email to write to me and ask me out? Well, this certainly eliminates the ‘Will he call’ conundrum.
Him: Well, we may as well set it up right now, right?

So we agreed on Friday. My final answer Regis, is that I’m on the fence. I don’t have a feeling like I did with CL#4NewJersey. But, I don’t have that “Get this psycho off my ass” feeling that I have had with countless other men.

We said goodbye, and I got in my speedracer and headed downtown to my meeting. And this, ladies and gents, should be the end of this post.

Did you catch the words “should be?”

I met with a business contact I have known since the summer. Shortly after we plopped down into a conference room, he said another contact of his was going to join us. In walks the “other contact.”

Why Hello Other Contact. What’s that I hear? DING DING DING DING DING.

The guy was older than me by say, 10-15 years. He looks mid to late 40’s. And he shakes my hand and both of us have stupid grin on our face. He is fidgeting around as he’s taking his seat, and he has his head down, and he’s still smiling. It’s like, someone told him the dirtiest joke before he walked in the room.

So the meeting proceeds for about an hour. And there is unrelenting, incessant, extreme and reckless flirting going on in both directions. Usually I don’t see good flirting as it’s occuring. But, I actually thought during the meeting: Jamy would be laughing her ass off, saying this is so way beyond flirting.

We’re tossing ideas around and Velvet is ON. I mean, ON. The charm was there, my negotiator skills were better than they’ve ever been. They expressed one concern about one of our processes and I said, “Well, I report directly to a Vice President of an entire region, I’m confident I can bypass some of the red tape for you. Our affirmation of a project’s value can be enough for corporate approval. Other backup material can take a backseat if our office puts their word on it.” Who the hell am I? I should just become a guy, because with as smooth as I was today, I could get in any woman’s pants. My boss would have been proud. He’s taught me well that everything in life is negotiation.

So the other guy who I’ve met before is making small talk between some of the deals we are reviewing. He says “Hey, you both live in Dupont Circle, and you’re right near each other.” I continue with the conversation, but then it goes awry because the little squirrel in my head says, “Gay gay gay gay gay.” So, now, I need a third party confirmation on that.

As we said goodbye, hot guy who needs a nickname said, “Should I fed ex any of this stuff to you?” Velvet thinks, “Hmm…how about just yourself.”

Damn. This shit never happens to me. I meet the ugliest people in my line of work. I might have to start walking my dogs by his house.

I want to do very very very bad things to this man.

1 Comment

  1. Velvet

    Sandra Dee said…
    WHOOPWHOOPWHOOP! Awwwww yeahhhh. So you’re gonna leave us hangin’ about how this dude ends the meeting?

    2/07/2006 11:34:24 PM

    Washington Cube said…
    Miss Velvet? Like I always say, “You can’t fight chemistry.”

    2/08/2006 12:07:13 AM

    Nikki said…
    Ha. Very funny. I know exactly what you’re talking about, both about meeting the ugliest men (I was in real estate for several years) and about wanting to do very bad things to a guy.

    2/08/2006 12:31:21 AM

    Siryn said…
    There is life outside #4… I like the idea of walking your dogs by that guy’s house!!

    2/08/2006 12:50:00 AM

    Mandy said…
    I seem to, without fail, come across nothing but trolls in my line of work. Or my favorite archetype: the emotionally-stunted man-child. I guess I’m just lucky. But fortunately the former presents no temptation and the latter, I’ve been getting better at sussing out, despite the distractions that charm and hotness can bring to the equation.

    2/08/2006 02:01:47 AM

    Jamy said…
    I dare you to call him up and ask him out.

    2/08/2006 07:24:12 AM

    Johnny said…
    work it like brianna :p

    2/08/2006 07:44:43 AM

    meghansdiscontent said…
    Were I a bigger loser, I would so tell you that “It’s Raining Men” was playing in my head during my reading of this post.

    Whoops, guess I am.

    Chica, I’m with “johnny”, work it.
    Walk your dogs past his place.
    Several times.

    And don’t feel bad about New Jersey in your head . . . honey, with what you posted, even I’m dreaming about that man!

    2/08/2006 08:00:53 AM

    Sharkbait said…
    Definately walk your dogs by his place.

    And only does this stuff happen to you and I love it. I don’t think I would have handled it as well as you and definately cannot fight the chemistry.

    Do it Do it Do it Do it Do it Do it

    2/08/2006 08:05:05 AM

    HomeI’mprovementNinja said…
    You think there are unattractive men in your line of work? Think about the unattractive women in my line of work!

    How many cheerleaders did you know in college that were in the library on a saturday night? None? Well, that’s how many of them got into law school. And for the few pretty girls that were born smart enough to get in without studying, how many of them do you think said “ooooh, that class on financial derivatives sounds interesting…I’ll take that so I can work around pasty-faced former math majors for the rest of my life”. NONE!

    And before you ask, no, I was not a math major. I was a psych major…YES THAT IS A REAL MAJOR!

    2/08/2006 09:27:24 AM

    marie said…
    Nah, he’s not gay.. I mean, you felt the flirtatious vibe going on.. I wonder if his partner (the one you’d met before) noticed it too.. should’ve been kinda funny/uncomfortable for him to be in the middle of all that.. haha! maybe he was trying to help his friend out by throwing into the conversartion that you-two-live-close-to-each-other info..

    is there any chance of another business meeting with him? ’cause i’m thinking you’re gonna have to walk your dogs by his house a loooot of times before you actually “bump” into him..

    2/08/2006 09:35:48 AM

    AsianMistress said…
    Why you gotta call me out on the payment? Hahaha. 🙂

    2/08/2006 10:15:17 AM

    AsianMistress said…
    PS I love this: “…little squirrel in my head says, “Gay gay gay gay gay.”

    2/08/2006 10:18:26 AM

    Larissa said…
    hope you bump into him soon, nice!

    2/08/2006 10:39:01 AM

    Rhinestone Cowgirl said…
    Lack of a “get this psycho off my ass” feeling is a good thing. But how annoying that CL#3 is still popping into your head!

    I know what you mean about meeting people at work. I had a client about three years ago who I’d bantered with on the phone before I met him in person, and OMG — you could have lit a house on fire with the lightning bolts that were going back and forth between us. If my boss hadn’t been in the room with us, I might have just pulled him into my office and shut the door.

    2/08/2006 10:46:30 AM

    I-66 said…
    coming quicker than fedex, never reach an apex…

    2/08/2006 11:35:38 AM

    Miss Abra said…
    Yeah, I hate it when the gay-dar starts screamind but you can’t get a second opinion.

    2/08/2006 02:47:17 PM

    Madison said…

    2/08/2006 08:25:48 PM

    Barbara said…
    Saw Reya tonight. We agreed that you are going to turn your life into a best-seller some day! Unlike Frey’s book, yours will all be true…

    2/08/2006 11:12:22 PM

    Stef said…
    OMG, I ned some of your hot-meeting-guy mojo! I’ve not had such luck AT ALL.

    I love your moxie! That’s one of my favorite words, moxie, and you’ve really been embodying it lately. Go for it, girlie, let Sammy and Thora work their magic around the neighborhood and see what happens!

    2/08/2006 11:24:24 PM

    Velvet said…
    Dearest Readers. I’m sitting here in the Dallas airport trying to get back to civilization, er, Washington D.C. There is a lady, clearly from Dallas sitting across from me in the gate area, SCREAMING ON HER CELL PHONE. Why is everyone from the south loud? But I do love me a southern accent. Though – it doesn’t help me feel better about how RUDE you are being. That’s all on that matter. Now,

    Sandra Dee – I am thinking more and more that he’s gay.

    Cube – I know, and I don’t think there’s chemistry with BlueEyes. Damn.

    Nikki – Yep. Welcome to my industry. I was just at a meeting with 65+ people here in Dallas and my boss said, “Look, it’s you and 64 guys in a room.” And I said, “I like those odds.” And he said, “Velvet, have you actually LOOKED around this room?” Duh – point taken.

    Siryn – I’m still rooting for #4.

    Mandy – That was incredibly well written!! You should put that on your blog. Man-Child. HA!

    Jamy – No Way!

    Johnny – She’s the best. I could never emulate Brianna.

    MeghansD – As I said, I’m leaning toward gay as I recollect the conversation. But I’m not giving up just yet.

    Afraid this will crash. Continuing on another comment item.

    2/09/2006 01:42:01 PM

    Velvet said…
    Sharkie – I love having you in my corner. Glad you’re back too.

    Ninja – Do we need to meet? wink wink.

    Marie – Yeah, there’s a chance. I have to just keep in contact with him. Which, under the guise of “work” I will have NO PROBLEM doing.

    AM & Larissa – THANKS!

    RC – I know when my panties are in a twist that you’ll back me up on behaving like a desperate whore. Love that.

    I66 – Good job, but there’s no points on that! So sorry!

    Miss Abra – I know, I’m still going to check into it. I did find his picture online, so I can use that to ask around.

    Madison – Ehh to you too! 🙂

    Barbara – That would be fabulous. I’m convinced everyone has this funny stuff happen to them, and I think it’s all in how you tell the story.

    Stef – I have Moxie? Awesome!

    2/09/2006 01:47:20 PM

    Thomas said…
    A post that truly pays ode to the BloodHound Gang song in your title 😉

    2/09/2006 01:57:29 PM

    playfulindc said…

    i totally forgot to tell you about this hot realestate lawyer I hooked up…eh hem…met in DC before Christmas.

    *Looking for his card*

    Well, I know where he drinks, at least.

    This hotel I am in smells like ass, btw.

    2/09/2006 07:22:59 PM

    MappyB said…
    You had me at ‘Smothered’. I’m still thinking of Waffle House!

    2/10/2006 11:32:43 AM

    Will said…
    First time here.

    I love Waffle House. Absolutely love everything about it.

    2/11/2006 09:14:11 PM

    FlameOn said…
    Maybe we need to switch jobs. Tons of hott guys in my field…I just don’t have the balls to do anything about it : )

    2/13/2006 01:43:34 PM

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