Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Don’t Try To Tell Me It Ain’t What It Is, I’m Good

Two friends asked me this weekend if I would post their respective, current plights on my blog seeking your expert, non-biased opinions. This works out well for me considering that my own weekend passed in such a drunken (cough, among other things, cough) haze that I don’t really recall any material of my own. Though, I do remember a near bar fight with some troll who couldn’t wait 10 seconds for me to pee and found it necessary to bang on the door like a lunatic and I also remember that the bar I went to on Friday was subjected to an armed robbery just minutes before my girls and I walked in. But I digress. Today is about the friends needing your advice.

Situation 1:
My friend Kate has been seeing a guy for a little while now, and he was at her house on the other night. As the evening progressed, they had sex. She told him to make sure he pulled out. Then, feeling a change in the dynamic, she knew that he had come and she asked him point blank if he did. He said no. She got up, and being that this is something we girls will find out anyway (helloooo gravity,) she went to the bathroom and realized that there was now a “mystery” substance coming out of her body. So she asked him again, “Are you SURE?” He said, again, “No.” So she presents her evidence (verbally, not like she showed it to him, though I said she should have,) and he says that he didn’t feel it. She told him she highly doubted he could have an orgasm and not feel it. He’s sticking with his story, denying all knowledge on his part that he actually came.

Now, despite the fact that I have very large balls, I do not have a penis. I cannot answer this question for sure, I just know that of the men I have been with, no one has ever been “not sure” whether they actually had an orgasm or not.

Boys? Little help? Is it possible to come and not feel it? Is he a big, fat, lying, selfish, pre-pubescent boy who can’t control or feel his orgasms?

Situation 2:
Another friend who I’ve named “Sixes and Sevens,” met a guy at a bar. They both seemed quite interested in each other and spent a good portion of the evening talking. The guy seemed to be painfully shy. Despite this, he asked for her number twice and they exchanged information. There were some emails over a couple days that seemed to show interest on both sides of this puzzle. Then there was talk of possible weekend plans. He was unable to meet her Friday, but said that Saturday he would be at a certain bar with a bunch of friends if she wanted to stop by.

The bar in question is not a contiguous space, and while we sat in the bar at the corner, he made his way around the place talking to various people but never came over to say hi to her. She assumes he saw us and didn’t want to come over because he didn’t like her or thought it was weird that she showed up at the bar. I think he was pretty drunk and possibly didn’t see us. He and the friends were really downing the Schlitz. So, what do you all think? Did he see her and not want to talk to her? What should she do? Wait for him to call? Call him? Email him and tell him that she was there and he didn’t see her and she felt like she was intruding in his night out with friends?

Help the girls out with their problems please, as my well of knowledge has been sliced, diced, cut, burned, bumped, blasted, blown and insufflated.


  1. The Captain

    #1 has already been explained. It’s #2 I’m worried about. Schlitz? Are you serious. Is this guy sixteen and paying the local drunk to buy him something cheap? The fact that he was drinking that kind of swill is all the proof she should need. Move on.

  2. Washington Cube

    The undies picture made it to the cute Greek American I told you about.

  3. Hungry

    Kate, has he called you since? If he hasn’t then that is definitive proof that the guy is a self serving wanker. If he has, then he is still a wanker but you have the potential for an entertaining evening watching him trying to talk you into a repeat performance.

  4. homeimprovementninja

    Okay, question 1. Is it possible for a guy to come and not know it? Hahahahahahaha. It’s more likely that yould shit your pants or throw up on your bosses shoes without knowing it than it would be for you to come and not know.

    as for the second question…yeah, he probably was drunk both times and didn’t see her or if he did, didn’t recognize her.

  5. R2K


  6. mini

    guy #1: pretty sure he’s a liar

    guy #2: he’s a dumbass for wanting her to meet up with him at a bar, with HIS friends. there’s a reason there’s a coffee shop on every corner

  7. 6s & 7s

    Guy #2 emailed.

  8. zenchick

    couldn’t get thru all the comments before I became compelled to put in my two cents, as a former AIDS prevention educator:
    pulling out protects you from NOTHING. I don’t think the issue was whether or not he actually blew his wad in her, because even if he didn’t, she could STILL get pregnant or ANY STD, including HIV–all these mentioned offenders are in pre-ejaculate fluid. I know people that have gotten pregnant AND I a woman who was infected with HIV from someone “pulling out”.
    So whether she calls him or takes his calls or not, she needs to go buy some condoms!
    (and USE them)

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